Are you stalking me?

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Are you stalking me?

• 03:06 And the clothes go back on... Oh happy day! #
• 04:43 I randomly started my period bc I forgot my damn birthcontrol yesterday! Damnit! #
• 05:38 @bburzycki Depends on what you mean by netwrok :) #
• 05:39 @bellabellini Cool! I think you'll enjoy them! #
• 05:44 Guess who's new site is up? MINE IS! www.undressjess.com FTW! #
• 06:17 I just put back up 9 of my 15 spy cams for tonight. The rest go up tomorrow! ping.fm/jkXkr #
• 06:33 @meowmistidawn Thanks dudette! #
• 06:35 @bburzycki I use various networks:) and they are all accessable via my site. #
• 06:47 @bburzycki What site is it? #
• 07:30 @bburzycki Have you checked out rude.com? Do you not like camz or something? #
• 07:32 Restarting one of my voyeur cam computers, back up in a jiff! #
• 07:47 You tell me it's cool to set them up so I take hours doing so and you fucking turn them around? WTF!? #
• 07:48 My fucking laptop keeps updating and restarting! God damnit! #
• 08:03 I wish I had tacos. But I don't. Oh and you ruined my night and gave me a headache. Cool. #
• 08:15 @b182soldier I do sometimes:) www.justin.tv/clubmix666 Book mark me bitch! #
• 08:21 I have "The Landlord's Daughter" stuck in my head. A song from The Wicker Man. #
• 08:32 I am looking at sex toys I want and getting super horny:( Fuck me? #
• 08:53 I know you wanna get me one of these toys to feed to my horny little pussy:) ping.fm/vapLA #
• 10:04 OMG I have such a bad headache it actually hurts to close my eyes. #
• 10:40 @amberlily Is it just not very powerful or what? #
• 10:53 @amberlily I'm taking that piece of crap off my list then. Thanks for the heads up! #
• 10:55 SHIT! I am ill, man. #
• 11:05 Check out my new site design NOOOOOOOOOW! www.undressjess.com #
• 11:29 Alright I am going to try to sleep now that the headache is gone. Look at my new design while I'm gone! www.undressjess.com #
• 18:50 Yay! My 3d webcam is HERE! #
• 18:58 @what_sadie_sang Thanks lover head! #
• 18:59 @bburzycki Do your members not like Camz very much? I like their set up quite a bit myself, like how you can download your shows and such! #
• 18:59 @teenrave Thanks dude! #
• 19:54 I'm doing a double (2hr) members show tonight to kick off my new site design release week! 7-9pm CST www.undressjess.com #
• 20:27 I just dripped blood all over Steve's floor canvas. Oh well it wasn't the first time just the first time it came from my vag. #
• 20:36 @jessiekitty Lame! "It happened again" reminded me of "It's happening again" from twin peaks. #
• 22:21 I need to wash my face and get poppin'! (Watching an episode of Lost.) #
• 22:30 Have a cluckity cluck CLUCK day! #
• 22:34 @dtopper22 Well I am going to be tied up until 9pm I know with member chats. Plus I don't have much money to spend really:( #
• 00:02 Two hour member chat now on! www.undressjess.com Come celebrate at my "new design party"! #
• 00:59 I'm dressed like a 1940's pin-up! #
• 00:59 So yeah I am all retro'd out in my second hour my of members show on www.undressjess.com !!! #

Are you stalking me?

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Are you stalking me?

• 03:27 What is an image host that allows nudity and site urls on pics? Not flickr or pimpandhost, they are no good. #
• 04:03 @amberlily I don't have a credit card or pp to sign up:( Any other suggestions? #
• 20:58 I want something to eat but I dunno what? Cheesy pasta? #
• 21:15 Cheesy pasta it will be! (Along with an episode of Lost!) #
• 21:32 Ok Jon was my fave character of last season but Walt is my fave so far of this one! #
• 01:05 Tonights members show was super fun! I wore a dress upon request and I never wear dresses, dude. #
• 01:13 I want to catch up on my work but I also want to roam the streets. #
• 01:38 @dtopper22 Sure just get ahold of me! I'll show you taht necklace when I get it. The reviews said the latch was faulty maybe you can fix it? #
• 02:38 Honest question: How do you think you will die? #

Are you stalking me?

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Are you stalking me?

• 03:22 This is me: ping.fm/4gJRC #
• 04:11 We just made the most extensively difficult and totally insane pizza order of mankind just now... #
• 04:40 I loved this barbie: ping.fm/MdYtj #
• 08:32 I am tired and mean right now. Probably. #
• 08:55 @webgirltweet Hey cool! I probably also belong on alt girl tweet :) #
• 08:56 I think I need to masturbate before bed. Since I am out of my meds, and all. #
• 09:09 I would really like it if I still had a healthy sexual relationship. Maybe I am too picky. #
• 09:15 Can't masturbate now... The man child is back home:( #
• 17:20 I got some booty last night! #
• 17:53 My skin seems really insanely dry today and that is not good. #
• 18:10 @teenrave Ha sure! I should actually... #
• 18:56 I don't think anyone that I knew in college knew my real name. I changed it during that time. #
• 20:04 That next to last episode of lost from season one made me cry! #
• 20:30 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?66 #
• 22:34 I am coloring my hair for the new cheap synthetic weave hair I bought for it. I hope it's dry before my members show at 7pm! #
• 23:53 Attention! My members show will be at 9pm instead of in um 7 mins cause I want to look uber HOT! #
• 01:28 Ladys and gentlemen I now have shakira hair! Come see it in my members chat in 30 minutes! www.undressjess.com #
• 01:49 What age is Amanda Palmer? #
• 01:55 BTW I finished season 1 of LOST today. How exciting:) #

Tired.

The house is getting worse. Both houses. I know that my animals miss me very much and are confused. I feel like I am mistreating them in some way but there is really not much I can do. I am extremely behind on my work. In being my own boss I feel that very often I have to trick myself into doing what I need to do to stay afloat. Really I am actually lucky to have a somewhat established business in this economy. I really wanted to go to that adult webmaster conference in Phoenix but with the apartment crap and all I simply don’t have the money to put toward that right now. Hopefully there will be others and soon.

I have decided that I won’t ever date a smoker ever again. I think it’s a fucking disgusting habit and it makes me want to kill myself when I am around people that smoke. Not all people. Maybe just people that smoke really shitty cheap cigarettes and it smells so bad that I can’t even fucking breathe. I also decided that I should go ahead and write more often and vent things so I don’t let it get all pent up and make me sick anymore.

Silvia Plath’s only son hung and killed himself 10 days ago and I recently found out that the woman that her husband was seeing when she committed suicide, performed the same act of self destruction only a few years after Sylvia did herself. Everyone is dead. Or maybe I am. Whatever the case… I find it intriguing.

I want to kill Steve. I am never dating ever again after this. He constantly is yelling and bitching at me about this that and the other and his house is insane. He has this nasty huge piece on canvas down under everything in the living room with paint and every spill and every piece if shit smeared into it from the last three year. He fucking has this thing as a god damned carpet ok. So like I spill this hair shit on there and I am trying to actually clean it up right now as I type this and he tells me how disgusting I am. The precedes to tell me how his landlord isn’t going to approve my dog just because he feels like rattling my nerves even more than they already are.

Recently I brought one of my 3 cats over here to the house. I walked down to all of the animals at my old totally trashed and cursed apartment and put her in a carry cage and walk her back. She is my unofficial favorite cat. Every night when I sleep she can’t sleep herself unless she is sprawled out somewhere on me.

It’s kind of funny because right now I look like I did in high school. My hair is short and fucking curly as hell. Not to mention red. The only thing is that I am kind of chubby because I have been drowning my depression in snack cakes since I got here a month ago.

I am worried about being kicked off of this cam network that I use to broadcast shows on my site (they pay me for these shows I do through their network. $200 they send me a week. This isn’t my only income of course but it is something I rely on. The reason they might get rid of me is because I am having a hard time getting private shows after my member show that I do twice a week. I don’t really know how to seem or act more desirable. My regulars never seem to be around during this hour that I am on after I do my shows so basically I am fucked.

I feel partially sick right now and extremely frustrated/remorseful/nostalgic/upset right now. Please let me fall asleep at a decent fucking time tonight.

Are you stalking me?

• 03:20 I want to have a funeral for my old apartment. Will you come to it? #
• 03:38 @mr_mikey Anything you want I guess. #
• 04:06 I made a short "fake" solo porn for this movie... ping.fm/XaKKU It's gonna be flipping great! #
• 04:35 Please don't fucking instant message me unless you know me or have something valueable to say. #
• 06:03 I am trying I really am but I am about to flip the hell out and just lay in the middle of the highway. #
• 09:38 Why didn't someone mention that Sylvia Plath's son hung and killed himself 9 days ago? #
• 10:00 sic vita est (thus is life)? ping.fm/9zGr8 #
• 21:37 Damnit I couldn;t sleep last night without my meds and fucking slept late and thus wasn't able to pick up my equipment:( #
• 21:41 I have a members show in an hour and twenty minutes and damnit I am tired... Amoung other things, #
• 22:08 I meant it's in two hours. This further shows how confused I am when I just wake up:( #
• 22:32 What is your opinion on this? ping.fm/cqJGL #
• 22:51 @HeavyB Eh... I'm desperate for a ride though and not exactly the richest on the block. I better just not drive drunk in that thing. #
• 01:17 Doing private shows... ping.fm/2bxXZ here! #
• 02:09 Man. Why am I not getting effing privates shows? #
• 02:33 I flipping hate when blogs on social networking sites don't allow html in the entry. #

To my one true love...

I should have had us build a time capsule and then buried it at my grandfathers grave.
Just so I could dig it up now and throw it in your face.
Should I get up from his bed and write you this song?
A song I have been singing for 4 and 4 years. Now 8.
It might be some type of cantankerous fate bomb going off.
I deserve that, and I know.
But you don’t deserve my precious melody.

No you aren’t some faultless God.
You are just as repulsive and fallible as the rest, you just prefer it hidden
Under those cold deceiving blue eyes.
I waited 7 whole months to give you that…
Showing off my twirl and scissor, dancing up more and more lies.
No not that time, as they weren’t faux courtesies.
No not that time.

Last night I sat laid there for hours wishing you were the one that cried.
If I could have anything it would be to give you this pain
That I have inside.
Laying there making up more and more lies.
Where does this man next to me lie?
His sick sad body makes me wish I could die.
This is not his pain that he has to endure.

It’s yours.
I wish you would have never touched me again.
You broke open all of those shells I had hidden in make believe castles.
I remember every look, song and broken promise
That I created in your name.
You took from me something I had saved up
For the next real thing.

I curse you for this.
May your days suffer and you kneel and kiss the feet
Of many an undesirable and commonplace hag.
I am remarkable and you will never live to love another
That possesses the prepossessing prowess, like mine.
No you were not brave to know your own lust
And thus left me riding on your dust.

Do you know me?
Perhaps you have forgotten all of our childish winters?
Choices I made I will never hold on high
Because I lost your Love almost with determination.
After all, I have always been a masochist.
Do you remember when I had nothing left
But insults that were obviously lies?

Blood was pooling at my feet from my
Self gratifying wounds and all I could do was try.
Effort spewed forth from my only orifice that I had not allowed
To be beaten and hushed.
And you laughed at my hysterical appearance out of shame,
For you and for me and maybe even what I had came to be.
But the fact is I begged you not to be broken.

Even in my poorest hour when I made my gravest mistake
I pleaded with you not to love her.
Even when I halted my selfishness and decided to stop dragging you along
On my own personalized ride through hell.
I knew what was to come.
It came to me in dreams many years before,
And I woke up choking on my morality, jealousy and eventually hate.

Phantoms of the past are what I live on.
Ideals and hopes that are locked in my mind
From the day I first lay in your bed while you still slept and made that point
To look around and remember.
Still you don’t deserve this song.
You now string me behind for sport
Don’t you?

Otherwise why would you have given in to feed
This dream, memory and taste still lingering at my lips?
Then go on to much more settled and humdrum waters.
I hate and love you in the same a terrible way.
You are not as oblivious as you would like to seem.
No, because I know you better than anyone
And one day you will ingest this suicide pill

Of lies I had became.

I was in this movie in a fake little solo porn scene. It was done independently by a friend of mine and looks like it will be great!

Are you stalking me?

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Are you stalking me?

• 03:06 Yo! I'm doing uber cheap private webcam shows right up in herr mang! ping.fm/2bxXZ #
• 04:34 Grrr... I'm hungry, tired, and I am going to lay on my ass and watch some more Lost. #
• 04:42 I am making some curry veggie soup and going to watch more Lost. Oh and my cat Tink has taken over Steve's apt. iluvherr. #
• 05:36 @johndillingham Dude, I flipping love Lost. And I love that one of my animals is finally here. #
• 05:44 I have basically filleted my scalp out of nervousness. #
• 07:42 BTW my fifty million spy cams (15-17) are going back up tomorrow. #
• 07:44 I meant to also plug my site in that last tweet about my 15-17 spy cams going back up tomorrow so here: ping.fm/jkXkr #
• 07:45 @johndillingham My grey cat Miss Tink is here. I am going to sneak in the rest of them through the week;) Shhh! #
• 07:47 So I got like my "first" cell phone but then I dropped it in a big cup of water... Will it dry out and maybe still work? #
• 08:34 6 more episodes to go in season 1 of Lost! Go team Hurley! #
• 08:37 Tomorrow is going to start off an AMAZING week. I have work to do and goals to reach! Nighty! #
• 08:39 @johndillingham Shhh! I'm only on season one! #
• 17:43 I am awake and I hope Steve will take me to pick up my cam equipment at my house before his work:D #
• 18:44 Gah, have to wait til after Steve get's off of work to get and set up my cameras:( #
• 19:32 @JoannaAngel I have joined a ton of these directories and to no avail:( I needz moar inet frenz! #
• 19:34 ordered pizza. got wrong order. when returning the right order the dude was WAY too stoked. wonder if there is jizz in pizza. #
• 19:54 Just added myself to the wefollow.com twitter directory under: #pornstar #camgirl #undressjess #
• 20:24 The best kitten in the universe is sleeping on me and being my personal snuggie! #
• 23:55 Insert. Foot. In mouth. And die now. #
• 00:30 What is the fucking deal with this internet since Zappa shut me down? #
• 00:58 Even though my internet was wonky as hell my members show was rather chill:) #
• 01:11 I still have some important things to do today to jump start this goal oriented week! #
• 01:20 Please be a lamb and buy me a few things to wear on cam to up my damn sales :D ping.fm/hKvPQ #
• 01:49 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?78 #
• 02:21 I don't really get what hi5 is but if you are on it please add me! ping.fm/vFIQY #
• 02:32 I have a queen latifa song stuck in my head. I think it's "If it ain't rough" #
• 02:40 @izsy_xox Sort of. I am taking over Steve's place and he is moving out. #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:55 Cam Girls: Can I get a witness? ping.fm/KVS0b #
• 04:48 I am morally confused and contradicting what I thought it was that I believed in. #
• 18:24 I am probably pretty offensive when I am drunk... #
• 18:36 Um, I guess it's good to have "self-confidence"? www.myspace.com/ballage #
• 18:52 I am not feeling well today. At least not yet. #
• 19:13 I am actually just chillin' here about to eat a sammich and browsing fucking jump ropes on amazon. #
• 19:21 Ok WTF.. A $40 jump rope? ping.fm/eGy2R #
• 19:54 Man! Sick! Are these people fucking serious? ping.fm/wJPpB #
• 20:24 I loved all over twitter "before it was cool"! #
• 20:52 On sundays I like to do the following: Shit, fuck, eat, lay around, and do nothing. KThx. #
• 21:02 Censorship is totally bunk. #
• 21:43 @OMGitsJessieLee I wanna be a mua on shoots! I could rock the set. #
• 21:45 I need to take a quick unneeded nap. I'm fucking lazy today. #
• 21:47 BTW my members show tonight is at 9pm. I pushed it back an hour so I can go mess with my mammals. #
• 21:49 Is there such a thing as snuggie/slanket porn? Cause I'm gonna make some... #
• 22:05 My stripper name was Ethel. Maybe that's my problem... I'm too cool for my own good. #
• 22:11 I want to be this woman. ping.fm/7k6ve You probably knew that though. #
• 22:12 I know this sounds crazy but me and one of my BFF's want another chance at prom. Have any little brothers that will take us? #
• 22:30 Shannon and Boon sex equals hot. #
• 22:56 I have a little "worry" dent above my left brow. That's why I wear my hair going that way. #
• 23:46 I look like an adult. I;m going to get my baby now. #
• 00:35 I got my baby Tink and Jeb howled when I left:( #
• 00:42 @SnuggieSighting I totally joined that network! Hahahaha! #
• 01:04 People are so funny! ping.fm/xtQak #
• 01:06 What is the best cat dewormer and is it available on amazon? #
• 01:58 I'm live in my members show now and I will be doing those AMAZINGLY GREAT private shows afterwards:) #

Cam Girls: Can I get a witness?

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Are you stalking me?

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Undress Jess in 3d!

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Are you stalking me?

• 04:44 I will catch up on my emails tonight! Then to walmart to pick up some shit. #
• 04:47 @icammodel What how!? #
• 04:48 Do you see my tweets twice? #
• 04:48 Do you see my tweets twice? tumblr.com/xgl1ggapt #
• 04:51 Ok the tweet issue should now be remedied! #
• 04:52 @toritos Why is Tumblr cool like how is it useful? #
• 22:10 I hate stupid TOS agreements. #
• 22:17 When I first wake up. I have no effing clue what is going on. #
• 22:19 @toritos What kind of stuff do you like to post there? #
• 22:25 There is a voodoo spell advertisment on my myspace homepage. WTF?! #
• 22:27 How could THIS WOMAN: ping.fm/ORmUM afford a myspace ad? Maybe she cast a spell for it. #
• 22:35 I am gonna watch an episode of Lost with my left over pizza. THEN I will get to work. Swear! #
• 22:50 I wish I had an awesome loft apartment with tons of room to dance and paint:) Hey it could happen! McWorld!!! #
• 22:53 Can certain meds cause night terrors? #
• 00:09 Does anyone in the downtown area have a screw driver I could borrow for a sec? #
• 00:48 One curtain up with two more to go! (Light bulbs also in place...) Yay! #
• 00:51 Hahaha! I just found a camera that allows you to watch me in 3d if you have 3d glasses! This is a MUST for my website! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:17 @izsy_xox Awe! Thanks! I loves you:) #
• 03:48 White kids love hip hop! ping.fm/GAkHG #
• 03:58 Hahaha! I need a theme song like this! ping.fm/JvUhK #
• 04:06 What is wrong here? ping.fm/jIFN3 #
• 04:22 I am starving for some reason. Someone order me a fucking pizza. #
• 04:46 I'm cooking again:( I likes to eat when I am depressed and sick. #
• 07:28 If your pussy stinks, Leakes, or looks like a dead Squirel.....You need not apply!!! ping.fm/50Rbw Hahahaha! WTF! #
• 07:56 What is tumblr and why.how should I use it? #
• 18:57 I ordered a pizza. I hope it get's here soon so I can take my morning meds with it! #
• 20:53 Alright this time I am up for real. Doing some promo stuff with a sample video. #
• 20:53 Alright this time I am up for real. Doing some promo stuff with a sample video. tumblr.com/xgl1gdlkk #
• 22:48 I'm getting lots of shit done. Go Team Jess! #
• 22:49 I'm getting lots of shit done. Go Team Jess! tumblr.com/xgl1gee10 #
• 23:14 I need to masturbate, or should I save it for tonights show on undressjess.com? #
• 23:14 I need to masturbate, or should I save it for tonights show on undressjess.com? tumblr.com/xgl1genxi #
• 23:32 I am gonna try to hold off my hand humping until 8pm when I have my members show! tumblr.com/xgl1geqxc #
• 23:32 I am gonna try to hold off my hand humping until 8pm when I have my members show! #
• 23:54 In the middle of two fucking important emails and my browser crashes. GREAT! #
• 23:54 In the middle of two fucking important emails and my browser crashes. GREAT! tumblr.com/xgl1geu82 #
• 00:23 Yesterday I was ill and thus got behind on tons of emails AGAIN. Email HELL! #
• 00:23 Yesterday I was ill and thus got behind on tons of emails AGAIN. Email HELL! tumblr.com/xgl1gf06l #
• 00:47 I have a cell phone now. Message me if you need the number…. tumblr.com/xgl1gf4kz #
• 00:56 Ok my members show is in 5 minutes and damnit I want to see you there! ping.fm/jkXkr #
• 00:56 Ok my members show is in 5 minutes and damnit I want to see you there! ping.fm/jkXkr tumblr.com/xgl1gf67k #
• 02:05 @ShugahShane Haha I won't be doing that. Texting costs hella apparently on this track minute plan thing... #
• 02:10 Shows ovah! I am gonna warm up that pizza and watch and episode of Lost in a sec here:) #
• 02:10 Shows ovah! I am gonna warm up that pizza and watch and episode of Lost in a sec here:) tumblr.com/xgl1gfjkj #
• 02:46 I love Sawyer's story from Season one of Lost. #
• 02:46 I love Sawyer's story from Season one of Lost. tumblr.com/xgl1gfq5v #

For the rest of this video... You know where to go!

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Are you stalking me?

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Are you stalking me?

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I am a lesbian.

I cut my hair!

Hmmm, I wonder if you guys have been wondering where I am. Well… I have had a hell of a time recently. On my birthday Feb 17th I found out that the house my apt was in was being foreclosed and that my landlord would contact me when she found out who the next owner was. Well then the electricity went out and water was turned off. I am still trying to find a new place. I don’t wanna bore you with this but if you are interested you can go to the the chip-in I started for it and read what happened. If you donate that’s cool but I’m not gonna hold a gun to you head
http://clubmix1996.chipin.com/i-am-fucking-homeless
Also I wanted to tell you I changed the way I post pics on my site so it’s like they are able to be viewed in the highest quality possible. Annnnnnd the new design for my site is almost done this is the preview:
http://gimme-website.com/cfiles/undressjess/
It’s gonna have a blue back ground though which is pretty neat. It should be up completely like in a few days!

Are you stalking me?

• 08:32 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?3 #
• 08:33 make hime cry likr a woman, no particular woman. #
• 08:54 I am tired big time and passing the hell out. No fooling! #
• 19:43 I am up and at 'em! Gonna get shit done! (And a fat ass. I ate the entire fridge last night on a drunken whim.) #
• 20:11 Damnit I can't find my zune recharger cable and I know it's flipping here somewhere! #
• 20:54 WTF I can't find my fucking keys now. #
• 21:10 My grandma is going to be pissed cause I can't walk down to meet her without my keys to be able to get back into Steve's house later and ... #
• 21:22 @TimboReid I don't remember it probably all tasted the same since I ate it all on gulp. #
• 21:53 I couldn't find my keys. Couldn't meet my grandma. Fuck a duck. #
• 23:06 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?23 #
• 23:20 Miranda July cracks my ass up. I wanna do projects inspired by her nut ass. #
• 00:22 I gotta back ground now! ping.fm/hmF5e #
• 01:45 I just fucking blew $85 on curtains for Steve's house. I can't fucking deal with blankies nailed to walls any fucking more. #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:57 @andysandimas Does he have a site? #
• 03:57 The flu makes me feel super weird. Where is my hair serum? I needz it. #
• 04:02 Next week I am going to get back to work like normal. Tonight I am going to talk to Steve about setting up my spy cams here asap. #
• 04:12 I might be jumping the gun here by saying this, but I think everything is going to be fine. #
• 04:20 Woah! This cold medicine just totally all of a sudden got me really effed up! I'm like trippin' yo! #
• 07:54 This seriously scared the sam fuck bajeezes out of me: ping.fm/yvNm0 #
• 10:15 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?51 #
• 10:32 I smell like I have the flu. It is totally stanktastic. #
• 10:39 I want a faggy little euro tramp boy that smokes a cigarette like he fucks a woman. #
• 11:07 My vagina smells really fucking strange. #
• 12:27 I am super hugry for some weird reason and craving meat. I am going to take my ass to bed instead of eating though. #

Are you stalking me?

• 04:01 I think I have figured it out. #
• 04:49 I would like someone to cut off my fallable little feet. #
• 05:21 Do you remember the first picture you ever saw of yourself and though, "I'm attractive." How old were you? #
• 05:36 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?51 #
• 05:52 @HeavyB That's impossible everyone feels like they are attractive at some point. #
• 23:22 Jessica is not feeling well today. Please "pray" for her! #
• 23:48 Has anyone or anyone you know tried this? ping.fm/sCojE #
• 00:43 I'm still hungry... What to do about it... #
• 00:44 @arielandrews Hmmm no. I haven't bought those in awhile. Maybe schnucks? They have a lot of fake meat stuff. #
• 00:45 @bellabellini I have heard lots of stuff about this! I can't wait to try it. #
• 01:07 @arielandrews That sounds so yummy I wish I had one! #
• 01:08 must. find. food. (and take adderal.) #
• 01:27 I am seriously not leaving the bed today. Oh and I am making a fish taco... from here in the bed. #
• 01:31 Is there any place, service or group that fosters animals like in the event of an emergency? (Like the one I am in with my housing situ ... #
• 01:38 @andysandimas How do you find an agent? I want one. #
• 02:43 Just to give you guys a heads up, the members show on undressjess.com will be tomorrow at 7pm CST not 8pm like normal! #

Lies.

I was looking at your face last night while you were scolding me and noticing how much it has changed since the first time I had seen it.

To tell you the truth I think you are ugly inside and it’s starting to show on the out. Maybe if you stopped telling lies to yourself and the people who care about you, you would see that any strife you encounter is no ones fault but your own.

Maybe you should sit back and think for a minute about the issues you need to tackle inside of yourself and quit pointing fingers at the people around you. Maybe you should consider these people you surround yourself and certainly stop painting the kettle black.

You are not creative, interesting, special or attractive. No, instead you are just a sad sad little girl searching for something that is already dead and gone but you just can’t seem to let go. Well one day you’re going to realize that all the time and energy you put into your quest was in vain. You’ll wake up and have nothing to show for all the years you let yourself dwell in your own stupid pain.

Loss does not allow you to think you deserve something more than the rest of the world. Everyone has experienced it in one way or another. Most people are just mentally stable enough or at least medicated enough to go on with their lives or at the very least; pretend that they have.

You need to sit back and take a long hard look at your face and see how it has changed because you can’t just keep riding on the “gifts” you have convinced other people to see in you because they will eventually see that facade. You are nothing, no one and you look exactly like all the losers around you and you are so fucking stupid to realize it.

Maybe you should do something about it.

Are you stalking me?

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nowhere

I’m out of my birth control after today. No matter. I don’t think I’ll be boinking anytime soon anyhow. Not now after all of this. Being homeless and all. Oh but I AM crazy, of course. Pity to me, the girl who seems to keep running into trouble. I swear I would leave if I could. I would just get up and get the fuck out of here. But I have nowhere to go. No home. My animals will die without me. They are being fed and given water but Jebadiah my dog, is losing all kinds of weight and his coat seems to be matting up. Without me there I just don’t think he likes to eat. I wish I were like that… didn’t eat when I feel like shit. Instead I do the opposite.

Steve wants me out of his place and I guess I have no reason to blame him. I imagine I would be rather difficult to live with. My site is losing memberships because I haven’t been able to consistently do my daily hour long cam shows which the members live for I bet. Also there are no spy cams because I have no home to show. I looked into a place but they wouldn’t let me have it because of my animals, and I have an idea he thought I might be to wild for the older lady that would have lived underneath. I have nowhere to go.

I am trying to inspire myself to do more to find somewhere to go but I am so depressed that I can’t bring myself to do anything right. I had been doing so fucking well and been saving up money to get myself a new mini laptop to travel with, new Zune because mine is too small for all of the music I have, and that trip to Phoenix to go to the adult webmaster convention since I had learned so much from the last. I can’t get those things now or go since the convention is just at the beginning of next month. I fucking hat e my landlord for putting me through this.

The economy is bad. I fucking get that but she could have warned me when this was all taking place. She has been trying to sell that fucking house since I moved in last May. I loved that place and took enough pride in the place and myself to keep it clean and well decorated. I have never been in a place mentally to want to make my home a castle, but this time I did and it was snatched away from me. It wasn’t even my fault. I don’t have a phone during the day to be able to call places and see who might like to rent to me and I don’t know who I can contact that might be able to help. I have called the legal aid society, the realtor who is selling the place with my landlord and the electric company. The utility people said I couldn’t get the shit turned back on because it’s on some type of commercial line. I don’t understand it.

I need a break through. I need a break. I need something to happen here. A miracle? But no one cares or has their own problems. But I am losing my mind like this. I have always been on my own and had to take care of myself since I was even still in high school when my mom deserted me and my grand dad died shortly afterward. No one is there for me. I am all I have ever had and I am so spoiled to think I deserve help. That I deserve a bone tossed my way when karmically this is most likely my fault to begin with. I just don’t know where to turn.

Are you stalking me?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Are you stalking me?

• 03:44 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?33 #
• 03:45 come see this fucking horrendous eyeshadow before i rip my eyes out... www.justin.tv/clubmix666 #
• 07:31 I really hate when you treat me like my mother did. #
• 08:25 Ya I am loving the animated comic Watchmen. Good times! #
• 16:47 I am about to call and see if me and my horrible credit were cleared for this apt I want. Viva la INDEPEDeNCE! #
• 17:03 I'm hungry! Ok... I admit it. I'm always hungry:( #
• 17:31 BTW, I put up a pic of me with my real hair on myspace: www.myspace.com/clubmix1996 #
• 17:36 @izsy_xox Well I tried to color it light brown but it came out like reddish. I guess that's cool tho since I like red hair on me. #
• 18:29 I need a new couch. The one at my old place is broken and not to mention ugly as sin. #
• 18:35 I don't know if I got the place yet the manager wants to speak directly with me which means they may want a bigger deposit cause of mt c ... #
• 19:16 Steve took the phone to work and I hadn't gotten a message from the landlord yet so I might walk down and talk to them in person later o ... #
• 19:18 I am gonna try like hell to get caught up on my emails that got backed up when I became homeless today... Wish me luck. #
• 19:42 You gotta be able to laugh at yourself even before everyone else does. And they will. #
• 22:27 WTF! How the fuck is it after 5pm? #
• 22:39 What do I look so horrendously old today? #
• 22:48 Come holla at cha gal! www.justin.tv/clubmix666?6 #
• 00:12 This is my JAM! ping.fm/MwqMv #
• 02:09 I wantt o be the opposite of who and what i am for at least a day. #
• 02:14 Wow! I really think this undereye cream is working! Side note: I love Joy Division. #
• 02:16 @not3xt Who was the rapper in it? Was it anyone famous or just some dude the studiop hooked her up with? #
• 02:56 I admit it. I live in the past. #
• 02:56 @jjdactyl it's something by biore. #