Sunday, July 26, 2009

Fuck the Internet (Even though I LOVE my interwebz!)

Man I am really frustrated... With some online stuffs so if you don't speak web hooker language you may want to skip this entry or read further to learn the ups and downs of my business...

Alright so let me make a list of them (my annoyances) then elaborate further as I see fit.

1.Non-members being extremely rude and even harassing me in my nightly member chats.
2.In doing the “free chat” that must be done to attract private shows I am really pissed at other stupid “models” for basically working for NOTHING and thus fucking up my income.
3.Even though I have 3 laptops and one netbook to make my life, spy cams and members/private shows run smoothly I REALLY actually need another desktop and I can't afford to buy one right now.

Ok I guess those are my main issues let me talk about my issues with number one now. Basically on my site I use different cam networks that I cam through to market myself to a larger audience and to offer my members access to the other tons of shows that other girls/guys do on those networks. The lame thing is that some of these networks sell their streams to really shitty sites like and other retarded places that the folks that have access to my shows and chats are not paying anyway shape or form and are pieces of total shit.

NOT EVERYONE THAT ACCESSES MY SHOWS THROUGH THESE PLACES (FOR FREE) SUCK. I am certainly not mad at anyone trying to get the sexy for free. I mean in this day and age with the volume of free sexy pictures and videos online and really EVERYWHERE including billboards, magazines, TV, victoria secret catalogs and the like it's not the sex appeal that gains members for solo sites like mine... It's the interest and interaction with the personality behind the site, in this case ME. I don't have any problems with having an attractive personality. As a matter of fact sometimes I think I have too much.

My members know me and if they like me for who I am they come to my shows and I would say generally enjoy interacting with me as well as seeing me naked/touching my goodies. My shows are not mindless and endless dildoing of a close up/faceless/personality-less vagina. I TALK and I TALK a lot. I say whats on my mind and my members and I tend to get to know each other (if they are the type to allow me into their world.) I LOVE THIS and would NOT have it any other way. But the folks that don't know me expect me to be a machine that obeys rude commands and displays full on nudity for the entire fucking hour of my show.

I am curious, do any people on these various networks actually DO THIS? Do the other models get naked within the first five minutes and obey any and all demands and stick random things in every orifice for the entertainment of the random viewers that are NOT their site members? Because these guys act like I am fucking nuts for not sticking water bottles up my asshole and having the cam 5 inches from my pussy the entire time I am on cam. Am I weird? Also in one of these particular network chat room there are NO MODS and I have to try to run my show smoothly as well as ban the assholes out at the same time which can be very hard to keep up with especially considering if they are using sites like they can log back in with a different screen name or sometimes even the same name without any damn problems at all.

So basically I am trying to have a good time and run a fun show for me and the cool viewers that are having a good time with me while being harassed and barked orders to by the lame asses. When I try to ban them and they can come back they come back calling me every name in the book and telling me how much I suck because I am not being fucked live by 5 different men and showing my holes being beaten to death close enough for their tastes. It's hard to feel sexy while being insulted for a fucking hour straight.

Now you may ask me why I continue to perform on this network if it's so much hell to have to go through on such a consistent basis. Well they pay me... And aside from them firing me which they might do (and I will get to why later) I just can't afford to give up doing the shows through them, not to mention there are so many pretty girls on this network that I am sure my members enjoy watching other than just me and I wouldn't want to deny them of that pleasure. This gracefully leads me to my second frustration I would like to address...

So on this same network I am performing on and being paid to do so (and be insulted and harassed as it seems...) I am required to fulfill and hour of free chat/private shows after my group/member's show. This really fucking sucks because I don't generally do private shows on a regular basis and when I did/do I set it up ahead of time through messenger or email and decide the details before the appointment is made and the money is paid. In these bogus ass “free chat” rooms most of the models on MOST of these sites are from foreign countries where 50 cents to a dollar a minute for humiliating themselves in any and every orifice they have available is considered “good money” and thus they undercut most American cam girls in price.

I only do this free chat bullshit 3 hours a week after three of my daily members shows and to offer my members and my other fans a good deal I only charge 1.99 per minute when my regular yahoo prearranged shows are 3-5 dollars a minute. I figure this is a damn good offer and think I am gonna get a million shows and not be able to even keep up with the demand. Um yeah right... I have a few regulars that come looking for me but other dudes are not so kind.

The men that frequent these free chat rooms are used to these predominantly foreign bitches that fucking basically do the whole show in free chat wearing a thong and bra dancing around tirelessly until someone finally takes them private for a buck a minute (of which they get maybe %40) and then they proceed to do things like fist their asses and suck their fingers with joy afterward. I am not going to fucking do it. First of all the most I do in these cheap chats is dance and perform a strip tease. I am not fingering my cunt or sticking anything up in there for 1.99 a minute, if you think this is unreasonable... I am sure there are lots of girls that can hardly speak English but sure aren't foreign or new to the idea of demeaning themselves on cam for you.

So the folks in these free rooms get angry or frustrated with me that I am not dancing around nearly naked and “enticing” them to chat. Um if you came in my room you should have seen my pics and known whether or not you wanted a damn show as far as I am concerned. There will be not pre-show or “sneak peeks”. You buy and see the goods or you can leave. However this attitude I have isn't as I said the norm on these sites and thus I am making NO MONEY doing ZERO PRIVATE SHOWS. Because of this being the main point of this network paying me to do the group shows to entice folks to get privates and pay more I am not on their list of awesome money making performers and I am constantly terrified they are going to can me and I am going to lose that money that they pay me which is pretty darn good I think...

So I am fucking stressed around the clock over this bullshit and now I am even starting to fear doing my members shows three times a week through this network and it's effecting my work. These chats used to be so much FUN! I don't know what to do to get more privates without selling myself short in my eyes. Do you guys have any suggestions? Because I am ALL EARS! I haven't done one private in like two weeks and if I lose this bit of income I would be sort of fucked.

My last issue that I am flipping out about is the fact I need a new PC. This is primarily my fault... because I wanted to put up more spy cams and now I usually have up 17-19 at any given point in time. This is a part of my site I REALLY LIKE and so do many of my members. It's something I have wanted to have and do since I was in elementary school. Since I had heard of JenniCam way back when. So basically and obviously that amount of spy cams can not be run on 1 or even 2 computers. I have been splitting them between two pc's for a long time successfully but as my business grows and I add more I have started using my main laptop to run 2 or 3 cams as well. With three streaming cams open it's very hard on my computer to try to do my regular work with marketing, photo editing, video editing and even fucking shit as simple as word processing.

I bought a netbook to use to do my members shows since I usually have those three cams open on my main laptop now but I have learned netbooks are made for pretty much NOTHING but being cute. To be able to use this laptop for my shows like I used to so my shit doesn't fuck up and crash all the time like it does on the netbook I am going to need to buy another computer and I figure since I have only all laptops and desktops are easier to upgrade and whatnot that's my next step... Of course I don't have 2000 bucks just like waiting to be spent on a new desktop right now so I am screwed.

Gah! Thank you for letting me vent to you, you wonderful internet peoples.


Unknown said...

what specs are you looking at in a desktop? 2grand is mucho overkill for anything you are going to be doing with it. For less than half of that amount you can build a super desktop that will do more work than all of your laptops combined.

Other than that....dont let the internet assholes get you down. most of them giving you shit are probably underage looking to get something for nothing like the rest of the internet.

Erica said...

As hard as it sounds I would try ignoring the internet assholes that bug you in your shows. banning them obviously does not work since they come right back, so just ignore them, don't answer their comments, don't do what they say, just do what you want to do. it's your show. Eventually they will get bored and leave. I'd hope. *hug*