tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post9137360032302842767..comments2023-11-08T00:21:18.007-08:00Comments on UndressJess: The Unicorn of Porn: I have mommy issues & I'm afraid to "grow up".(aka "UndressJess")http://www.blogger.com/profile/09031237749977991520noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post-4630655214468386382012-11-28T15:15:47.095-08:002012-11-28T15:15:47.095-08:00With your explanation I can see how the "what...With your explanation I can see how the "what doesn't kill you: saying would be erroneous but the rest of my statement still applies :)Luke Cagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07812119661509430752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post-72461957164051404742012-11-28T13:22:17.838-08:002012-11-28T13:22:17.838-08:00I'm not sure how to directly to reply to any o...I'm not sure how to directly to reply to any of your individual comments on here so I'll do it all in one post. <br /><br />DPhZ: Yes my mom had been very young at 17 however she wasn't interested in having an abortion at all. She was very excited to have me from what I understand. Sometimes I wish she would have had an abortion but then again I wouldn't be here so if nothing else, I have to thank her for at least doing that. <br /><br />Yeah I'm glad I haven't had kids yet but I want to have at least one, one of these days. <br /><br />Luke: Thank you for saying that! :) I however don't believe in the saying, "what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." When we experience trauma like abuse it changes the way our brain functions and if it happens when we're still developing it actually can cause brain damage (because the changes it makes in our brain can change how it develops over all) that will/can lead to personality or mood disorders in adulthood. I don't want to ever cause that for my future children. :(<br /><br />Johnny: I really don't like how your tone sounds so dismissive. It's insulting to me. :( It's not something that you can just snap your fingers and let go of. What I've been through in my life (and not just as a child, mind you) has been extremely damaging. I've worked through quite a bit of it and writing about it is another way I am working through it. It's not an instant process. Also I'm not sure what you mean by, "If this is a true representation of your inner self, you definitely don't want to have kids yet." That sounds really fucking shitty, dude.(aka "UndressJess")https://www.blogger.com/profile/09031237749977991520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post-84888282512121663512012-11-26T15:59:17.725-08:002012-11-26T15:59:17.725-08:00If this is a true representation of your inner sel...If this is a true representation of your inner self, you definitely don't want to have kids yet.<br /><br />So your mom was abusive to you when you were a child, and you're angry about it. That's unfortunate. But now you have to think of it as your problem, not hers. You are now at a point where she can't hurt you anymore, but all that pent-up anger is still wounding you, likely as much as your mother did. It is within your power to change this, if you decide you want to. It's best to let it go, when you can.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post-36183821330965466382012-11-26T10:09:31.528-08:002012-11-26T10:09:31.528-08:00I'm new to your site and blog but I just want ...I'm new to your site and blog but I just want to say how brave I think it is for you to open up and share your inner self with us as you do your outer self. <br /><br />I can understand the no friends situation as I am much the same in that I have many casual acquaintances but no real close friends. It mostly stems from my being raised in a cult-y religion and never really learning the right skills to connect with people. This also explains my dating issues :( <br /><br />Definitely don't have kids until you are in the right situation. I wish you had had a better childhood yourself but I guess the old saying, "What doesnt kill you makes you stronger" applies here. Stay the course, know you're beautiful and bright and don't worry about growing up. I'm a 40yr old "kid" who still reads comics, plays video games and enjoys a good game of chess, scrabble and board games galore. Be who you are :)Luke Cagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07812119661509430752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6050483008531911543.post-51527051631388842342012-11-26T05:25:13.917-08:002012-11-26T05:25:13.917-08:00I'm sure I can draw parallels between your mot...I'm sure I can draw parallels between your mother and mine if I wanted to, I FEEL there may be some, but it would be unfair to mine for not punching me if I ever WAS acting like a jerk, which I might occasionally do. In fact, she would never punch me like that no matter how jerky I believe she's being. <br /><br />Many parents draw some moral line between spanking and other sorts of hitting... (I don't believe in the legitimacy of said line. I think it's morally equivalent.) But I think it works from the principle of "drawing blood from children" = abuse. <br /><br />Thing about children I'm realizing... you shouldn't have children primarily to fulfill one's own emotional needs. Children as quiet accessories. As a repository for adoration. Or as something to have "just because." Or just because of circumstances beyond control. (Which is why I think women should have access to abortions, if necessary.... but good contraception is preferable.)<br /><br />I wonder if one of these may have been the case for you and your mom... but I don't know her. <br /><br />Primarily, "bringing a person into the world"(not "having kids." that makes it sound very trivial.) ...should be considered an ambitious undertaking to bring a human being into the world from the ground-up. From belief in something worth passing on and the desire and ability to holistically do good by someone. <br /><br />You're wise to not have one already. Especially if you don't want to, or don't believe you're ready. It makes most other people irresponsible, not you. DPhZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11386542122281559795noreply@blogger.com