Saturday, August 22, 2009

My So-Called Life


I’m sitting and watching an episode of My So-Called Life. I actually wasn’t old enough to catch this while it was on ABC when it was originally aired. I read the entire series in young adult fiction form way before I even saw a single REAL episode on MTV during that period where they ran the re-runs. Christ, looking at this now I realize how fucking simple it was during the mid-nineties. It makes me want to buy a crimping iron and wear over size flannel button up shits with stretch pants and cool-aid color my hair fire red. Oh wait, I guess I probably come off like that already…

I still feel the same exact way that I did when I saw this show for the first time…What was I, about 12? When I hang out at bars I always feel like I’m really just chilling in the school yard in 6th grade and I wonder, who gave all of these children booze? Why are we being trusted with all of these alcoholic beverages? Everyone I know acts like they are about that age anyhow whether they are 19 or 33. I exist within an immature generation of kid like adults that never seem to “grow up”.

It’s getting super lame here. I have lived in the same area of town for several years now and during this entire time I have surrounded myself with the same exact faces and these people have not changed or bettered themselves in the least. If anything they have gotten worse over time. More alcoholic, ruthless, lustful, addicted, lying, cheating, whoring, little angry toddler monsters. I think sometimes if I moved just to a different part of town I might be better off. Even if there are more bars in other parts of this city that I might end up living near… There just can’t possibly be the pithy drama like there is here.

I want to hold auditions for new friends. That, or start taking taxi’s (because you know I don’t drive and even if I did I shouldn’t since I drink so damned much) to new bars and meet NEW people. Of course it’s totally obvious that I shouldn’t be trying to meet anyone worthy of having ANY TYPE of relationship in places where the lowest of the low gather… You know, like me. Maybe I should start going to book clubs or cooking classes instead?






3 comments:

Violet Sin said...

Book clubs, classes, maybe take on a cause and do some activism. You generally will not meet quality people in bars.

UndressJess said...

The only problem I have with taking part in those sorts of things is that I don't drive so it's hard to find cool stuff to do in the immediate area.

shart5tain said...

You're definitely not the lowest of the low. You're pretty exceptional imo. In a large city you'll have much more options available to you in terms of friends, work and how you would like to spend your time. I think you're lucky in that your web cam gig does not require you to be tied down to any particular location. I hope to be able to have that freedom in my lifework someday as I think I'm nomadic by nature and i don't like to be tied down in one place.