Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Why I am no longer apart of the Burlesque Troupe...

So everyone keeps asking what happened with me and the burlesque troupe and I have wanted to address this for quite a few days now, but the fact is I haven’t had the emotional energy to do so until now. I am really hurt over this and I feel betrayed by people that are who I considered to be my friends. I guess I am going to tackle this in three organized sections first being why I am upset and what I put into being with the troupe. Second being why Heather decided to let me go and the third I will post the email of which I sent to Heather via myspace after all of this happened to which there has been no reply.

First of all I have offered up a lot of myself to this troupe monetarily for my costume and supplies, time for my expertise in coding and marketing as well as my organizational skills. There have been times in the past of which I have been very flakey but it was really a goal of mine this year to do more and to dedicate more of myself to other causes, this being one of them.

As you all know I recently went to Vegas to attend an internet convention on the adult internet industry. This was a great opportunity for me as I was able to market myself and my site and skills to others in the industry as well as gain valuable knowledge in my field of work. It was a flipping amazing learning and marketing experience. But upon going I needed to update my business card and it was said at one of our burlesque meetings that we should all get a business card that describes our talents and contains info on our Burlesque persona. Mine is “Sake Tsunami” an Asian artist and sex worker/performer. I included the info about her on my business card and had a ton of people asking about more info on my performances and troupe and I was able to point them to our myspace page. This generated a lot of interest in myself and the group not to mentions cost me quite a penny to get the card printed out glossy as was the standard that the troupe decided upon. I am the only one to date that has created and paid for business card to be given out to create a stir and interest in our group. Money spent. Case and point.

Second with my technical website building know how I spent a lot of time working on creating our myspace profile and marketing that and our shows. I have a bit of “internet fame” under my belt and I used that to make hundreds of myspace bulletin posts, forum posts, blog posts (on my various blogs all over the internet), and I sent out emails to personal fans and site members as well as mentioning the show in my you tube posts. I had 30-50 fans coming in from out of town in surrounding areas to see me perform at the first performance. This does NOT include the amount of interest I raised amongst people that actually live in town.

White I was out of town I was asked about how to make certain changes to the myspace site to add more performers bios and profile pics. I didn’t have the time to explain this so I simply said get me the photos that you want cropped and the bios. For some reason I was not consulted again and shit was added to the profile that had no spaces or dividers and the photos were way to big for the page. I fixed this but was obviously pissed when I had offered up my services even when I was out of town…

There has been hundreds of dollars spent on my performance costume as well as HOURS spent by me on my routine itself. I am meticulous about my choreography and it really takes me being able to zone the fuck out and really work to create a piece I can stand behind. Dance is sacred to me. I spent time in Vegas when I should have been schmoozing with other industry professionals up in my hotel room working on small bits of my routine.

And lastly I booked the band that is playing with them at the first performance and spent a lot of time taking meeting notes and keeping track of these minutes and sending out notices via email to performers in the group during and after many of our meetings.

Now to why Heather decided all on her own to throw me out of the troupe;

While I was in Vegas I received an email from her asking me why I didn’t tell her I was going to miss the two practices that weekend. Um, she knew before anyone what dates I was going to be out of town because I INVITED HER TO COME WITH ME to market herself as a model. So anyhow, I missed those practices but while I was in Vegas I spent time fixing her mistakes on the myspace profile, marketing our performances and troupe as well as working on my routine itself.

When I returned from Vegas she alerted me on Friday that we had a daytime practice on Saturday at 3pm. I had already had plans to run errands with my grandma to get my birth control and anti depressants, get pet food, and catch up on random business stuffs that I had gotten behind on while being out of town. I alerted her of this via email and she didn’t get back with me about it in anyway yet bitched to my friend about how I was missing yet another practice. I don’t drive so when I make plans to do something like run errands with my grandma especially for things I need like food and my birth control and such. I have to stick to those plans!

I also wrote her and told her that during the last night of my trip my adderal was stolen and because it’s a controlled and scheduled substance I wouldn’t be able to get anymore until after the 21st.Well on that Sunday we had plans to shoot promo photos of us as a group. I was up the entire night on Saturday completely sober and not able to rest because not having my adderal had fucked up my schedule so bad I couldn’t sleep and I decided I just would skip out on the photos and I would call her in the morning to explain what the deal was. I called at 8am to no answer after finally falling asleep. At 9 or so I got a call from my friend Dawn who I got in the troupe in the first place telling me that the photos were now considered mandatory and if I didn’t come I would be thrown out. I was disgusted at her not fighting for me and allowing this to happen but I asked to speak to Heather to whom God knows who gave the right to make this decision but was put on the phone with someone else who hung up on me before I had a chance to tell them my outfit for my character wasn’t even here and I had jack to wear for the photo’s in the first place and that I also had separate plans to shoot my characters promotional photos with Mike next weekend (which I still plan on doing).

I figured as I was totally passing out again that she would call me back later and say that she was out of line and sorry about what she said yet she was mad I had not come when there was so much care put into planning those photos. I felt sincerely bad I couldn’t make it but if I would have gone I would have looked like a drunken (from being so tired) moose without jack to wear to show my character was even Asian! But there was no call. I got up and read an email from her saying it sucks I “bailed” on the photos and I must obviously not have the time to be in the troupe and would be better off uninvolved and she would be taking over the myspace page I WAS ASKED to create for the troupe. I tried calling her to discuss this and there was no answer or call back so I deleted the fucking profile. I didn’t think it was fair to allow someone who didn’t have the decency to face me over the phone at least to use all of my hard work to promote themselves on something they unwisely threw me out of.

And now I will post the email that I sent her after doing this to which has still gotten no response so if my explaining seems spotty may clear you up on anything else I may have missed. I think it was rather nice of me and I wanted to obviously be a bitch and say shit I would regret but the thing is I still want to reconcile our differences if for nothing else to be cool and not have bad blood between us. I want to know your guys opinion of this note as well. Does it seem rude or cruel? Do I seem out of line?


So I tried to call you just now but there was no answer. I'm glad you guys had a nice shoot today. I don't think it's fair in the least that you are kicking me out of the troupe based on the fact that I have been out of town doing work that I actually invited you to do with me in the first place, thus alerting you way before anyone else of what dates I would be gone.

I don't know if you really understand anything about medication but especially with controlled substances you become in essence addicted to them and without them cannot function. I just woke up right before I stumbled to the phone to call you. Without my adderal I cannot control the amount of sleep I have or the times when I will be sleeping. I was up all night last night fretting about the shoot when at 5am or so I decided I can't worry about it anymore and that I would just call you guys in the morning and tell you I can't make it.

As for the practices I have missed you knew I would be missing those before I left and when I returned I had things to do to catch back up on things happening here with my business and personal life and I had plans to run those errands on Saturday. I didn't even hear about a practice on that day until you emailed me about it the day before. When you alert someone last minute of something you can't expect them to drop what it is they have to do and show up.

While I was out of town you asked me to explain how I did the photo cropping and editing on the myspace page. I didn't have time to do that at that moment so I asked you to just get me the photos that needed to be cropped and bios and I would put them up while I was still in Vegas. You neglected to do that for whatever reason and put up bios and photos that totally disturbed the flow of the page that I WAS ASKED to create for the troupe. I was pissed about that but I fixed it without saying anything.

You asked me in your last email to transfer over the account. I deleted it. Point blank. You didn't answer my phone call to discuss it with you, you didn't discuss your decision to throw me out of the troupe this morning with me and your friend Brandy hung up on me mid-sentence... I am not allowing someone to use my work that doesn't have basic respect for me. I think you will understand that. And if you possess the skills to do the page on your own or have saved the html coding then you can get up another page without a problem so I am not worried about that.

I don't appreciate you throwing me out without having a vote on the matter especially without explaining the fact that you knew exactly when I was leaving town or the problem with my meds being stolen. This is not an issue of reliability but an issue of you having some type of control problem with sharing responsibilities with your fellow troupe mates on making decisions and taking care of things that need to be done.

If you would have spoke to me this morning I would have explained to you that at the last meeting I attended you made it clear that whoever couldn't make it to the photo shoot simply wouldn't be in the promo photo and that's it. Also you would have found out I had specific plans to have my own character photographed next weekend with Mike because the costume pieces that I ordered for the performance haven't arrived yet and I basically had nothing to wear for today in the first place.

So I wish you guys all the luck and if you wish to discuss this I will certainly answer the phone if I am here when you call or return your call if you leave a message when I get back home.