Friday, July 24, 2009


I am scatterbrained to the MAX today. Not that it's anything new but it's killing me a little. I have been trying to concentrate on getting things done but still failing. I drank twice during my cleanse this week which is really dumb and self defeating. Now it's Friday and I feel like going out and drinking again. I feel like I can't help it... Like I just relate to other people so much easier when I am drunk. I probably need to take up smoking weed instead, but I am sure in excess that will just make me more paranoid than I already am.

One awesome thing about this week I feel like was accomplished (other than my BRAND NEW blog design going up!) was that I made a positive step in opening up communication with someone I thought I would be forever doomed in my interactions with for the rest of eternity. I think sometimes when people tend to not be “good” with each other it's a general rule there has been a miscommunication of ideas. I don't think however the whole sum of our “relationship” has been healed but I am proud of the first steps we have both taken this week in beginning to mend what we BOTH fucked up in the past.

As much as is may be unbelievable to some considering how confrontational I can be at times I really freaking hate having people that I have fucked up connections with. I shouldn't care but I hate people having the wrong ideas about who I am although that's easy for me stir in folks when I have fucked up ideas about who I am, myself. But you know what I mean, or maybe you don't...

I care WAY too much about what people think. But in doing so it's both destructive and beneficial for my sense of self as on one hand it's good not to want to be seen as a total piece of shit because it makes you watch yourself but it also sucks because it hinders your being your true self on occasion. I need to learn balance in my life. Maybe that's one of my lessons I am supposed to learn in this lifetime.

In other news... I need a seamstress. Although I would like to learn how to alter my costumes and clothes myself, until I actually get a sewing machine and take the time to learn how to use it I need some work done to some pieces and I don't know how to find someone to do this for me. Of course I am willing to pay, as that should not have to be mentioned but I am for the sake of possibly attracting a nice young (or old) lady to do this for me and be my go to gal for alterations. Do you know anyone that would be interested? Please let me know!


Anonymous said...

Your to bizzy to try and start a new project. Have a blessed day.

UndressJess said...

Do you mean "too"... Yeah thanks for your advice.

javastud said...

hope you got my last post, i hope your cleanse isn't making you so crazy anymore... javastud

javastud said...

tips on making good coffee..

buy good coffee beans, make sure they are ground, buy coffee filters, put about 3 spoon fulls of ground coffee into the filter, add water to the machine, turn it on, BAAMMM!! Have a f ing cup o' coffee!!

peace and love,