Are you stalking me?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Are you stalking me?

• 06:06 Dear neighbors... It's getting old. If you are going to fuck please move the creeky ass headboard away from the fucking wall and turn o ... #
• 06:06 @eonmckai I like juice. Esp from boxes! #
• 06:26 I just want some fucking beer and a smiling face. #
• 06:41 Censorship is such a big fucking joke. Take that! #
• 07:08 @noiamtori She returns! I have been wondering if you have been sleeping all day. #
• 07:09 I didn't get those fucking pictures done again today. Please someone stay on my ass and make me do it tomorrow. #
• 07:22 I can't wait until I fucking get my new hair. I'll look like a raver chick or some shit! #
• 09:01 I am trying to fix my housecamz that keep shutting down for no reason. Should be back up in a sec! #
• 15:04 My bedside spy cam keep turning off because it's USB extension cord is failing:( If you wanna see the goods, buy me a new one! p ... #
• 15:05 The USB cord I need to replace the dying one is here: ping.fm/Zalqt #
• 03:38 I dunno how I slept that long earlier but it's good I did. #
• 04:41 Did you know, I secretly love life? #
• 04:58 I am stoned watching my favorite thing ever! ping.fm/NKPos #
• 06:00 @izsy_xox Nope not in a long time. How are you? #
• 06:00 @TheFullMonty why is what? #

Yay!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Are you stalking me?

• 11:33 @noiamtori Jesus I can;t wait til I get mine. Without it now I cant sleep at all. I have been staying up for days in a row. #
• 11:36 I just stuffed my face yet again today because I am snowed in with nothing better to do. #
• 11:40 I will get the rest of my damn photos edited and ftp'd to GG tomorrow or BUST! #
• 11:43 It's cool the burlesque troupe that threw me out stole my character layout that I was doing on our myspace and applied it to thier new o ... #
• 11:49 Thier fucking headshots are even cropped with bad composition. Ahh oh well. I need to move on. #
• 16:10 This is one of my favorite songs EVAH! ping.fm/WzGEZ #
• 16:23 My brain is a little farty on wrod connectivness (did I make that word up? see!) this morning :( #
• 17:43 I have like NO jeans. My dog has recently chewed the crotch out of all of them. #
• 17:47 Who wants to go blow some money at some thrift stores with me today? #
• 18:15 @tornadoliese Hmmm. Black magic practioners? That's crazy! #
• 19:30 My fave editor of my fave book commented my myspace page! How cool! The i-net is a magical place... #
• 20:18 How do people have such great skin? Jessica Alba looks fucking 12! ping.fm/6075a #
• 20:32 Does anyone in my area have a fucking vacuum cleaner I can borrow? #
• 22:23 Why the fuck is my internet being a retard? #
• 22:40 New blog post about my birthday coming up... ping.fm/kAi5k #
• 23:06 @citizensolider Cause my dog pissed on mine and shorted it out. #
• 06:06 Dear neighbors... It's getting old. If you are going to fuck please move the creeky ass headboard away from the fucking wall and turn o ... #
• 06:06 @eonmckai I like juice. Esp from boxes! #
• 06:26 I just want some fucking beer and a smiling face. #
• 06:41 Censorship is such a big fucking joke. Take that! #
• 07:08 @noiamtori She returns! I have been wondering if you have been sleeping all day. #
• 07:09 I didn't get those fucking pictures done again today. Please someone stay on my ass and make me do it tomorrow. #
• 07:22 I can't wait until I fucking get my new hair. I'll look like a raver chick or some shit! #
• 09:01 I am trying to fix my housecamz that keep shutting down for no reason. Should be back up in a sec! #

My birthday is coming!

So I just realized how close to my birthday we are! Usually I am all over this as this is the only holiday worth celebrating all fucking year! This year my birthday especially means a lot to me because I am finally coming to my own as a woman, a citizen, a business owner and finally gaining control over my “mental illness”. I have a TON of project in the works at the moment that I am working on, on a constant basis. I have TRIPLED my income since October and in being evicted last year this means a hell of a lot to me. Not only because I have taken the time and initiative to dive in head first into my industry learning the ins and outs but also because in the past I have been a very lazy flake of a girl. One of the things I am really fucking proud that I have accomplished this year so far is sticking to my responsibilities and basically doing what I say I will.

In making all of these things happen I feel extremely empowered and I have a new lust for accomplishment that I Haven’t seen in myself in a VERY long time! So now that I have convinced you of my worthiness of being spoiled on this awesome time in my life let’s talk about some of the gifts I am wanting! Many of the gifts I desire would actually benefit the donor in many ways OTHER than just because any benefactor that I have should be overjoyed to do ANYTHING for me. Ha. But also I am offering a very special 20 minute long birthday video to anyone who purchases an item/items that add up to being $100 or more BEFORE Shipping and Handling plus a month trial to my site. Anyone sending gifts that equate to $300 or more will receive the recording as well as a year pass to my site! And lastly to those of you that just want to send a little bit of love costing $99 or less I will reward you with a month trial to my site. This deal will only be valid until Feb. 17th!

1. An HD camcorder. Yes people I want to start offering my members of my site the absolute clearest view of any butt pimple I may or may not have! No really imagine the quality and clarity of seeing my awesomeness in my site videos and “film” projects! There are two VERY affordable HD cams (Only like 199 or something insane like that!) on the first page of this list!

2. Also I am adding MORE cams to my humble abode. Yes that’s right! I have 8 spy cams now that are on 24/7 and available through my site! But these do not at this time have sound. I have found a cam network that that has extremely high quality feeds and also features SOUND! This means I am in need of a few new webcams and usb extension cords which can also be found throughout this list as well.

These cams will be installed in my bathroom in the mirror (to compliment the shower cam already in place) and also I would like to have additional cams in my living room and bedroom that feature sound so my little spy can REALLY be a fly on the wall! Plus don’t you want to hear me have sex and telling my friends secrets and not just watch me/us, right?

3. Also in expanding my voyeur cam experiment I have realized that my little spies love seeing my in skimpy clothing. It’s true that my house is not a 24/7 madcap of sex and debauchery, (although sometimes it seems like it is) so in those OTHER daily moments while I am working on site promos, marketing, coding, design and other technical/business elements of my job I am sure you don’t want to stare at me sitting here in my Big Lebowski robe. This is why I have added a plethora of comfortable sexy sets and undies to this wish list to work, sleep, eat and even do yoga in! Some of the items on the list have no preview image so you have to click on them to see exactly what they are. I don’t have to go any further in discussing how this will benefit you guys, do I?

4. I am going be traveling a lot more going to conferences and shooting this year and it just doesn’t make sense to risk bringing one of my hub notebooks and risk dropping, losing or having it stolen to lose that huge power source and all the content it holds for my site; so I would really love to get a mini notebook to take on trips with me and out to other locations in my area. For this the specs don’t need to live up to the kind of juice that my business laptops need and thus makes this item very affordable! $300-400! The mini notebook I have my eyes set on is located on the first page of this list.

5. Lastly I am shooting a lot more pictorial content for my site as well as lots of DIY sets for Gods Girls, and I need a better digital camera than my basic snap shot piece of crap. So I talked to a few people that know a thing or too about professional cameras and I picked out a rather affordable option instead of a top of the line $2000 camera. It’s the technique, settings, lighting and approach that makes the difference in photography not crazy overpriced cameras that are pretty much just for show. I picked this Canon (found on the first page there). This will obviously benefit you folks because it will allow me to take more photo’s myself since I will have what I need at my disposable in my home and that will mean more sets of the sexy! And at better quality than I can take on my own with my shoot and click or webcam!

There are obviously other less expensive gifts on my various amazon wish lists which can be found at the left hand side on any of the lists I linked to above, and those gifts will be highly appreciated as well… I just thought I would make a top 5 things I need for myself and my business for this coming year. Take advantage of my offer now before it’s too late and wish me a happy birthday!

Modeling in my skivies on Feb 13th! Come out and say hello!

I will be modeling at The Jungle in downtown Evansville IN from 10pm-12am for Risque Lingerie. Please come out and meet me if you can! I will be meeting my fans and taking signed Polaroids with anyone who would like one for a small fee! I really like meeting my fans and what better time than the day before V-day? My birthday is also 4 days later so I won't be mad if you bring me a little hot gift!

:)

UndressJess

Are you stalking me?

• 03:19 So apperently I can to my show at the wrong time or something but I was still a rocking good time! #
• 03:50 Anitra never showed up. I dunno what happened. Maybe I should call? #
• 05:27 My skin looks really fucking good right now. I should read a book or clean. #
• 07:22 I hate when I am the only one sober. or maybe I actually like it. Either way it ends up being depressing. #
• 07:59 I don't understand shitty dancers. #
• 08:45 qTuVPluReqs Favorite class to take ever. Body AND Brains. #
• 09:19 I have all of a sudden decided to rearange my room ay 3am. #
• 11:34 And now I feel empty. Like every last thing was raped away from me. #
• 15:33 Ir's kindof ealy to be sleady all loud and shit but at least you guys look like you are having a ton of fun:) #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:33 There are a few changes I need to make with myself immediately. #
• 03:58 Why is it that everytime I try to upload photos onto myspace it crashes my browser. HELP ME. #
• 04:01 Someone please send me the link for the non-fancy photo uploader on myspace so I can put up new hot pix. #
• 05:52 Sorry I missed my members show tonight. I will reschedule it for next week and do two shows in a day for you guys! #
• 06:02 I can hear my neighbors having very explicit sex down below... #
• 06:31 I need someone to make me a really hot banner. Help me! #
• 08:06 I am not feeling very well physically or optimisticly. So I am going to bed. #
• 09:55 I was sleeping along minding my own business and BAM! Insomnia:( #
• 10:10 Does anyone know if Bjork is part asain? #
• 11:59 Money is pretty cool to make and keep. Just to let you know. #
• 12:34 I just fed my dog the porkchop my granny sent home with me today. I hope he doesn't choke on it! #
• 12:57 What's the quickest way to watermark one or more photos with my logo in CS3? #
• 14:31 I am reading a book about my borderline personality disorder and so far it has me pegged:( #
• 15:13 I can't wait until my seroquel comes in and I can fucking sleep again. #
• 15:27 I am about to hang a huge self portrait of myself that I painted when I was 16. I was angsty! #
• 16:54 I am loading my cd's music files into my zune program on my computer. Yay! #
• 18:17 Um... I dance. #
• 19:12 I had no idea every url i could think of in the world would all be fucking taken... #
• 19:46 Hey all of you alt model whore friends of mine... Would you cam on my cam network if I made it awesomer than the rest? #
• 20:45 I am listening to shaft and it rules! #
• 23:20 Whoot! Anitra is coming to visit! #
• 23:57 Michael Lee makes a damn nice image. His work makes be beautiful! #
• 01:20 Man it's no secret I love me some Ani Difranco. THE SHAME! #
• 01:47 After awhile of having a make-up brush it always starts itching me like crazy even if i clean it over and over again... #
• 02:21 Members show!!!! In TEN MINUTES! Come get your ass hot off the um... bed. #

Are you a fan of really hot "alt" chicks with brains? (Um like me.)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Are you stalking me?

• 03:59 Doing my member show tonight through my photographers house! #
• 18:53 Boys lie. Where is my fucking "boys lie" tshirt from when I was 14? #
• 19:29 I can't belive my make-up is still perfectly applied from yesterday's shoot. That's talent. #

Are you stalking me?

• 10:33 @meowmistidawn He's amazing I agree. I have some amzing ideas. You me and Liz are getting together in the next week! #
• 13:54 God damnit! I am not feeling so well. I am getting up and making food to settle my shit. #
• 14:35 I am eating broccoli speghetti AGAIN and wishing I could find my sprinkly cheese... #
• 14:37 @tornadoliese I know the feeling... I woke up at 7am after going to be at like um 5am and I have a shoot at 1pm... YUCK! #
• 14:38 @kentuckyprophet Add [email protected] on facebook! Yay! Internet marketing! #
• 14:39 To be final... Steve is moving in by the end of the month. He is bring me awesome stuff and we are going in together on an HD tv! #
• 14:47 Oh! My heavy Metal poster is up in my hallway in it;s phrame and it's fucking HOT! It's next to my Ratt poster;) #
• 14:49 Please be a lamb and list me modeling/porn/talent agencies that deal with "alternative" models. I want the hookup! I deserve it God da ... #
• 14:52 @draven DRAVEN! Why are you getting out of bed so early anyways? I can't sleep myself and need to get shit together for a photoshoot. LAME #
• 14:56 Oh yeah... Just to be honest... I am still drunk from last night. I spent a whole $20 on drinks and schmoozed radio dj's and bouncers. ... #
• 15:18 I am soooo worn out. I will be editing out bags under my eyes from todays photoshoot... Let's have sex! #
• 15:23 @draven Oooh! That sounds fun! I want to be more tatted up. I like saying that trashy phrase, "Tadded up!" #
• 15:26 I love love love this fucking woman...ping.fm/odCK0 I want to do performances like this! #
• 15:37 @leiaswift Ha! the joys of being an internet celebrity! #
• 15:41 @OMGitsJessieLee Ha! I am hulu junky as well. I like watching the alfred hitchcock hour on there. It's the shit. #
• 16:07 Damnit! I bled in my hot panties! Fucking why am I still on my period the third week anyways? #
• 16:22 @meowmistidawn what are bst pics? do you mean best? #
• 16:55 Alright I am sobered up and getting ready for my shoot. Exciting right? #
• 17:40 I am slowly putting on my photography make-up little by little... #
• 18:22 I really hope I am not getting a bladder infection. Those fucking suck. #
• 00:27 @meowmistidawn Hey! You should take some pics with my friend Mike! You can subit them places or you can just do it for fun! #
• 00:29 I am developing a massive bladder infection and I am drinking red wine. I iz smert@! #
• 00:31 Just to let everyone know... I am doing tonights member show at 10pm CST instead of 7pm cause I am shooting... I will be drunk! #
• 02:10 Cool! During my shoot my period shot through my pantyhose. My photographer puked. #
• 02:14 @eroticbpm Awes! Friends meeting friends! #
• 02:29 The next shoot is the psint shoot. I am fucking tired for reals #
• 02:30 @danadearmond I wanna burger NOW. I iz hungry. #
• 02:35 @noiamtori That's on Lifetime. I have been wanting to view it. #
• 02:36 @noiamtori Yeah it's based on a true story! #
• 02:37 @secrets_n_lies Awesome burgers I hope! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:36 I had an awesomely fun show tonight! I am going to set up the other spy cams now... So glad I found that cord! #
• 03:48 Waaah! Steve won't take me to get a phrame for my new Heavy Meatal poster! #
• 03:56 I am hungry for BRAINS! Or maybe just tacos... Lets head for the Bell on the border! #
• 04:12 I am about to hook up the rest of my spy cams. This is such a huge relief! #
• 04:13 Having the power cable to my other pc now means I can finally send the pics for my new site template to the designer tomorrow! Killing ... #
• 04:14 @furrygirl OMG! What the hell store has all their clothes one size fits all!? I want to meet with you when I visit home in March! #
• 04:50 Ha! There is a CK1 add in my new Elle. Whens the last time you saw one of those? #
• 05:36 My rude cams are back up and the embed on the site will be back up tomorrow if not tonight! Yay, all 8 cams are back! #
• 06:01 Gaining weight it lame. I just ripped a crotch slightly in my Tripp skinny jeans! #
• 20:16 Man I just saw this hot ass mars volta looking character fumbling with some shit in his car on the walk home. I must masturbate... #
• 20:23 I hate Live Journal Nazis! #
• 21:05 @BlastCams Ha! I love me some of the Mars Volta. SEX. #
• 21:06 @furrygirl I have been to a place in the U district that seriously only had like size one stuff. I was like um, Seattle women have curves... #
• 21:07 *Decided I am going to The Phoenix Forums in April. Who want to hire me as a promo model and pay for my shit out there? Who do I know there? #
• 23:51 Not to jump the gun but Steve might move in. Oh how you voyeurs will love that! #
• 00:14 @kellylind Whoa! Youi shot for playboy! AWESOME! I soooo want to shoot with you one day, you are amazing sauce! #
• 01:10 Doing my Friday night members show via seccamcentral NOW! Come and chill with the homie! #
• 03:07 I'm about to get laid yo! #

Are you stalking me?

• 04:00 Looks like I actually booked the show in the wrong time zone. (Damnit!) It won't be until midnight so in another hour. Sorry! #
• 04:46 I am on the floot digging through wires upon wires to find my plugin for my toshiba so I can get my spy cams up... to no avail:( #
• 04:50 I have a set of Bettie Page stickers that I have been holding onto for years and only now after she has passed do I not feel cheesy abou ... #
• 06:06 I am doing privates on webcamclub.com right now! Come look at my titties! #
• 06:21 Come keep me company in my free chat! ping.fm/2bxXZ You can get a private with me as well! #
• 06:28 If I started my own burlesque troupe would any of you want to participate or help? OH! And come to my free chat! ping.fm/2bxXZ #
• 07:02 Annnd I'm off cam. I did a sexy nude puppet show in my member chat tonight! #
• 08:03 One day I vow to kill you and everyone will know it was me and it will be completely worth it. #
• 08:10 I still can't find that fucking cord for my cams pc. I am getting very frustrated with this... I will try again in the morning! #
• 08:42 I finally get to get my adderal again tomorrow. I will also buy shitty drugstore make-up and tempra paints for my shoot on Sat! Nighty! #
• 09:24 I just realized I have not known what the fuck idea the time was all fucking day. Great. #
• 10:04 I am trying to get tired since I have an appointment to see my doc for my meds and shit early in the morning. My dog is snoring and it' ... #
• 10:08 Someone find me the episode 2 of Spaced online so I can watch it NOW! #
• 10:59 I remember the days that I used to just go and go until I passed out. I miss those days. I hate trying to sleep when I can't. #
• 11:54 I have my bedroom cams back up! But still haven't found the cord to hook up the living room cams:( #
• 12:46 If I am still up in 15 minutes I am going to see if the trya rerun is on at 7am. Yeah I'm hard. #
• 12:47 Oooops! I meant the *Tyra rerun not trya. Man I wish I could sleep! #
• 12:51 Who wants me to visit Seattle at the beginning of March? I do! I do! #
• 13:16 Just off of the top of our heads... Is there anyone in Seattle I should want to shoot with for whatever mix of reasons? Let me know! #
• 13:49 @kentuckyprophet Yep I think that's what I am gonna use. Flickr. #
• 21:35 Damnit I missed my fucking doctors appointment because I fucking fell asleep and couldn't get up... This is getting old. #
• 22:46 @arielandrews Oh I just got a new laptop in Dec! I freaking love new laptops! #
• 22:50 Why won't myspace flipping let me add new photos? When I try to it crashes my browser! #
• 22:53 My Heavy Metal poster is here! I am going to lay back down for awhile and think about where to put it when I get up! #
• 01:16 Awake! Tonights member show is in 45 mins so I need to get the ball rolling on this shower! #
• 01:26 OMG! I just accidentally found the power cord and supply for the other cams computer! Glory day! #
• 02:03 Gah! My media encoder won't open up for my member chat so I am going to restart. Brb! #

Check me out at Internext!

Are you stalking me?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Why I am no longer apart of the Burlesque Troupe...

So everyone keeps asking what happened with me and the burlesque troupe and I have wanted to address this for quite a few days now, but the fact is I haven’t had the emotional energy to do so until now. I am really hurt over this and I feel betrayed by people that are who I considered to be my friends. I guess I am going to tackle this in three organized sections first being why I am upset and what I put into being with the troupe. Second being why Heather decided to let me go and the third I will post the email of which I sent to Heather via myspace after all of this happened to which there has been no reply.

First of all I have offered up a lot of myself to this troupe monetarily for my costume and supplies, time for my expertise in coding and marketing as well as my organizational skills. There have been times in the past of which I have been very flakey but it was really a goal of mine this year to do more and to dedicate more of myself to other causes, this being one of them.

As you all know I recently went to Vegas to attend an internet convention on the adult internet industry. This was a great opportunity for me as I was able to market myself and my site and skills to others in the industry as well as gain valuable knowledge in my field of work. It was a flipping amazing learning and marketing experience. But upon going I needed to update my business card and it was said at one of our burlesque meetings that we should all get a business card that describes our talents and contains info on our Burlesque persona. Mine is “Sake Tsunami” an Asian artist and sex worker/performer. I included the info about her on my business card and had a ton of people asking about more info on my performances and troupe and I was able to point them to our myspace page. This generated a lot of interest in myself and the group not to mentions cost me quite a penny to get the card printed out glossy as was the standard that the troupe decided upon. I am the only one to date that has created and paid for business card to be given out to create a stir and interest in our group. Money spent. Case and point.

Second with my technical website building know how I spent a lot of time working on creating our myspace profile and marketing that and our shows. I have a bit of “internet fame” under my belt and I used that to make hundreds of myspace bulletin posts, forum posts, blog posts (on my various blogs all over the internet), and I sent out emails to personal fans and site members as well as mentioning the show in my you tube posts. I had 30-50 fans coming in from out of town in surrounding areas to see me perform at the first performance. This does NOT include the amount of interest I raised amongst people that actually live in town.

White I was out of town I was asked about how to make certain changes to the myspace site to add more performers bios and profile pics. I didn’t have the time to explain this so I simply said get me the photos that you want cropped and the bios. For some reason I was not consulted again and shit was added to the profile that had no spaces or dividers and the photos were way to big for the page. I fixed this but was obviously pissed when I had offered up my services even when I was out of town…

There has been hundreds of dollars spent on my performance costume as well as HOURS spent by me on my routine itself. I am meticulous about my choreography and it really takes me being able to zone the fuck out and really work to create a piece I can stand behind. Dance is sacred to me. I spent time in Vegas when I should have been schmoozing with other industry professionals up in my hotel room working on small bits of my routine.

And lastly I booked the band that is playing with them at the first performance and spent a lot of time taking meeting notes and keeping track of these minutes and sending out notices via email to performers in the group during and after many of our meetings.

Now to why Heather decided all on her own to throw me out of the troupe;

While I was in Vegas I received an email from her asking me why I didn’t tell her I was going to miss the two practices that weekend. Um, she knew before anyone what dates I was going to be out of town because I INVITED HER TO COME WITH ME to market herself as a model. So anyhow, I missed those practices but while I was in Vegas I spent time fixing her mistakes on the myspace profile, marketing our performances and troupe as well as working on my routine itself.

When I returned from Vegas she alerted me on Friday that we had a daytime practice on Saturday at 3pm. I had already had plans to run errands with my grandma to get my birth control and anti depressants, get pet food, and catch up on random business stuffs that I had gotten behind on while being out of town. I alerted her of this via email and she didn’t get back with me about it in anyway yet bitched to my friend about how I was missing yet another practice. I don’t drive so when I make plans to do something like run errands with my grandma especially for things I need like food and my birth control and such. I have to stick to those plans!

I also wrote her and told her that during the last night of my trip my adderal was stolen and because it’s a controlled and scheduled substance I wouldn’t be able to get anymore until after the 21st.Well on that Sunday we had plans to shoot promo photos of us as a group. I was up the entire night on Saturday completely sober and not able to rest because not having my adderal had fucked up my schedule so bad I couldn’t sleep and I decided I just would skip out on the photos and I would call her in the morning to explain what the deal was. I called at 8am to no answer after finally falling asleep. At 9 or so I got a call from my friend Dawn who I got in the troupe in the first place telling me that the photos were now considered mandatory and if I didn’t come I would be thrown out. I was disgusted at her not fighting for me and allowing this to happen but I asked to speak to Heather to whom God knows who gave the right to make this decision but was put on the phone with someone else who hung up on me before I had a chance to tell them my outfit for my character wasn’t even here and I had jack to wear for the photo’s in the first place and that I also had separate plans to shoot my characters promotional photos with Mike next weekend (which I still plan on doing).

I figured as I was totally passing out again that she would call me back later and say that she was out of line and sorry about what she said yet she was mad I had not come when there was so much care put into planning those photos. I felt sincerely bad I couldn’t make it but if I would have gone I would have looked like a drunken (from being so tired) moose without jack to wear to show my character was even Asian! But there was no call. I got up and read an email from her saying it sucks I “bailed” on the photos and I must obviously not have the time to be in the troupe and would be better off uninvolved and she would be taking over the myspace page I WAS ASKED to create for the troupe. I tried calling her to discuss this and there was no answer or call back so I deleted the fucking profile. I didn’t think it was fair to allow someone who didn’t have the decency to face me over the phone at least to use all of my hard work to promote themselves on something they unwisely threw me out of.

And now I will post the email that I sent her after doing this to which has still gotten no response so if my explaining seems spotty may clear you up on anything else I may have missed. I think it was rather nice of me and I wanted to obviously be a bitch and say shit I would regret but the thing is I still want to reconcile our differences if for nothing else to be cool and not have bad blood between us. I want to know your guys opinion of this note as well. Does it seem rude or cruel? Do I seem out of line?

Heather-

So I tried to call you just now but there was no answer. I'm glad you guys had a nice shoot today. I don't think it's fair in the least that you are kicking me out of the troupe based on the fact that I have been out of town doing work that I actually invited you to do with me in the first place, thus alerting you way before anyone else of what dates I would be gone.

I don't know if you really understand anything about medication but especially with controlled substances you become in essence addicted to them and without them cannot function. I just woke up right before I stumbled to the phone to call you. Without my adderal I cannot control the amount of sleep I have or the times when I will be sleeping. I was up all night last night fretting about the shoot when at 5am or so I decided I can't worry about it anymore and that I would just call you guys in the morning and tell you I can't make it.

As for the practices I have missed you knew I would be missing those before I left and when I returned I had things to do to catch back up on things happening here with my business and personal life and I had plans to run those errands on Saturday. I didn't even hear about a practice on that day until you emailed me about it the day before. When you alert someone last minute of something you can't expect them to drop what it is they have to do and show up.

While I was out of town you asked me to explain how I did the photo cropping and editing on the myspace page. I didn't have time to do that at that moment so I asked you to just get me the photos that needed to be cropped and bios and I would put them up while I was still in Vegas. You neglected to do that for whatever reason and put up bios and photos that totally disturbed the flow of the page that I WAS ASKED to create for the troupe. I was pissed about that but I fixed it without saying anything.

You asked me in your last email to transfer over the account. I deleted it. Point blank. You didn't answer my phone call to discuss it with you, you didn't discuss your decision to throw me out of the troupe this morning with me and your friend Brandy hung up on me mid-sentence... I am not allowing someone to use my work that doesn't have basic respect for me. I think you will understand that. And if you possess the skills to do the page on your own or have saved the html coding then you can get up another page without a problem so I am not worried about that.

I don't appreciate you throwing me out without having a vote on the matter especially without explaining the fact that you knew exactly when I was leaving town or the problem with my meds being stolen. This is not an issue of reliability but an issue of you having some type of control problem with sharing responsibilities with your fellow troupe mates on making decisions and taking care of things that need to be done.

If you would have spoke to me this morning I would have explained to you that at the last meeting I attended you made it clear that whoever couldn't make it to the photo shoot simply wouldn't be in the promo photo and that's it. Also you would have found out I had specific plans to have my own character photographed next weekend with Mike because the costume pieces that I ordered for the performance haven't arrived yet and I basically had nothing to wear for today in the first place.

So I wish you guys all the luck and if you wish to discuss this I will certainly answer the phone if I am here when you call or return your call if you leave a message when I get back home.

Jess

Are you stalking me?

• 04:19 Back home from Steve's. Searching for that fucking powercord to get my spy cams back up! #
• 04:29 @codibaby They kicked me out because I was away in Vegas and missed some practices as well as I missed those photos since I couldn't sleep. #
• 04:29 I am really depressed over this burlesque thing. I was really looking forward to performing. #
• 04:38 I am searching high and low for this fucking powercord for my spy cams comp! #
• 04:41 I'm really disappointed in the girls of the troupe for allowing me to get thrown out in the first place. Learn to stand up for your rea ... #
• 04:49 You and all of the people you know.. add my myspace to your friends! myspace.com/clubmix1996 #
• 04:52 This guy won't stop emailing me... Soo bother the shit out of him: David James [email protected] 416 516-2700 #
• 05:18 What time is it eastern time right now? How many hours off is EST from CST? #
• 06:37 Where can I download a codec to play an .avi file? #
• 06:55 I am going to have a night cap. I will continue my search of this power cord in the daylight hours of tomorrow! #
• 19:36 I need a cell phone. I am about to go to red lobster with Steve. I just shed two tears over the burlesque thing. #
• 21:32 The more I hear about this situation the more I realize how people are just big pieces of royal shit. #
• 21:46 That's fine. I'll do just fine without any friends. I need to fucking move anyways... #
• 21:59 I am going to take a two hour nap and let my blood quit boiling and hopefully digest my red lobster! #
• 22:00 @not3xt I miss Seattle like a ton :( I want to make a quick (long) visit! #
• 22:01 @tastytrixie I bring notes to the doctor everytime! I think it tells them think you know your shit! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:43 I was totally unfairly kicked out of my burlesque troupe so just to let everyone know, I will NOT be performing next month:( #
• 04:42 I will make a blog post later to explain to everyone why I was removed from the burlesque troupe. I don;t have the energy to go through ... #
• 04:52 Now that I have stuffed my face with speghetti, broccoli and taken my birthcontrol... I am taking my ass back to bed. #

Are you stalking me?

• 05:21 Well that was a longer nap then expected... Now I need to find what I am wearing for the burlesque troope shoot tomorrow... #
• 06:00 I also need to work on my burlesque number tonight but that will most likely have to wait until tomorrow. #
• 06:25 So I got that covergirl eyelights mascara and although I am not noticing my brown eyes being any brighter, it does make my lashes long a ... #
• 06:38 Just a reminder... Matt K8TS lives in ass villiage... #
• 06:40 @tastytrixie I can have so many more orgasms when I am not on my meds. But then again if I don't take them I might kill someone... #
• 06:41 @not3xt digsby is what I usually use. But they didn't have this particular option, sadly. #
• 06:41 @sebastianxxx I used my Hitachi twice in a row. That thing is serious business! #
• 06:42 @draven I can stand my tits being a little bigger but NOT my ass. Any bigger and this thing will take over the world! #
• 06:42 @noiamtori Hahahahahahaa! I used to worry about the amount of calories in toothpaste. This is no joke. #
• 06:48 Did I mention I picked up new bareminerals foundation while in Vegas? I got lighter! I am like the second to lightest color now. Weird. #
• 06:48 @noiamtori I'm glad I don't count calories anymore but I could stand to watch my weight a little closer. Maybe. #
• 07:03 @noiamtori On my GG set. I havent sent it in yet. I started editing the lighting and shit before I left to Vegas but I haven't finished yet. #
• 07:03 Catching up on emails from being out of town is a total bitch and a half! #
• 07:11 I am having a hard time getting all these fucking wires sorted up to get my cams and shit back up tonight! Grrr! #
• 07:22 Damnit! It keeps getting later and later and I don't seem to be getting very much done. Fuck me! #
• 07:30 Side tracked and eating more yogurt... Frederick's of Hollywood has some cute effing shit right now! #
• 08:20 I hand washed some pieces of my costume for tomorrow's shoot. I hope they dry in time! #
• 08:31 I just tore out my closet looking for my damn toshiba laptop power cord and NO DICE. Bah! #
• 08:37 Alright well since I can;t find the right fucking cord and I have a photoshoot at 8:30am. I will worry about my cams tomorrow. NIGHT! #
• 08:41 Haha! ping.fm/Gj3NF I'm gonna hit you with my taco! #
• 09:02 I can never sleep when I am supposed to! I have 4 hrs to sleep! #
• 09:45 There is something in my eye and I still cannot sleep. I do not want to do photos in the morning>:( #
• 09:57 Again I am starving from not having my fucking adderal and NOT sleeping. Curses! #
• 10:05 @codibaby I can't:( It;s a shoot for the whole burlesque group as a whole so if I don't make it I won't be in the promo photos! #
• 10:51 I am eating snack crackers to curb my cravings... I want speghetti though. #
• 11:22 @tornadoliese Haha! I don't mind putting my face in the thorns... cause life is hard... in many ways... #
• 11:23 I quoted that wrong... but you get the gist. #
• 11:31 I really like a nice clef chin on a man. What kind of chin do you have? #
• 02:50 @shugahshane No one asked you which of my avatars you liked better. Don't open your mouth without fucking thinking. #

No!

I am awake and silent. There is someone that I think I may well know sleeping soundly behind me. My key board has a high pitched “click”. I always end up with noisy laptops like these.

I can’t sleep a wink and there is something very unpleasant that I have to do in the morning. I didn’t want to take pictures for you. On YOUR dime. That is something I generally do only on my time when the light hits a specific way. And I rise.

I was in Vegas all week making love and business contacts. What were you doing? I haven’t had the time I usually use to spend on this or that and of course that means I must get caught up. You aren’t making it very easy you know? I had my adderal stolen or perhaps I simply lost it. I insist however, that it was stolen.

Because of this I slept all day and can’t rest now. This may mean I will miss taking the very photo’s I have no intention of taking in the first place. But I want the opportunity to do and feel new things. So why do I retreat when the images become rough or unflattering? Because I lie in a basin of endless façade. I am a broken image now.

Are you breathing still? I can’t hear and I should worry. Instead I consider doing that old late night thing and cooking up a four course meal just to hate myself in the morning. Yeah that’s something I do.

My alarm is set for 2 and a half hours from now. Will I wake or will I shove off this horrible responsibility? I just don’t see why everything has to be such a damn obstacle. I have things to do that I am not doing and I am fretting over something I have no intentions of doing.

I am having a hard time getting all these fucking wires sorted up to get my cams and shit back up tonight! Grrr!

Did I mention I picked up new bareminerals foundation while in Vegas? I got lighter! I am like the second to lightest color now. Weird.

Just a reminder... Matt K8TS lives in ass villiage...

I also need to work on my burlesque number tonight but that will most likely have to wait until tomorrow.

Are you stalking me?

• 07:01 I just woke up again from a LONG nap. I am eating cookies and answering emails and emailing folks I met at the convention... Yay! #
• 07:24 God damn! Losing or having someone steal my adderal in Vegas sucks because now I can barely function... #
• 08:15 @codibaby I know like wtf! I have looked everywhere for it and it's totally gone. I am drinking Yerba to get some stuff done. #
• 08:16 @nudealt Do you think if I called my doc and explained they would give me another script a little early? #
• 08:51 What isn't there a w4t catagory in the casual encounters area on craigslist? WHY!? #
• 08:53 I wish there was a app that allowed me to update my myspace status and twitter at the same time like I do on facebook... #
• 16:48 I am so fucking hungry without having my Adderal. Last night I was dreaming of eating sushi again. #
• 16:52 @nudealt Awesome! I am checking out ping.fm right now! #
• 17:03 Does anyone still use friendster for anything? #
• 17:10 Microphone check! 1-2, one two! #
• 17:11 @nudealt Can you download a desktop app from ping.fm? I am looking for one but not finding it:( #
• 17:19 Is this on? Just checking... #
• 17:20 Yay! Now I can update my myspace, twitter and facebook all at the same time using ping.fm. How lucky am I? Ok time for more sleep... #
• 20:32 The Hello Kitty toaster is here! It puts a hello kitty face on each thing you toast! #
• 20:34 Where the hell are the burlesque costumes that were ordered off of my wishlist! I need them for fucking tomorrow! #
• 20:42 I also just got NEW oil paints in the mail from my wishlist. I have like a ton now. #
• 23:24 Dang! I am eating hardy today! Gotta catch up on all that midwest food I've been missing out on! #
• 23:33 @nudealt Hey I found a desktop app! If you login to ping.fm and go to applications then to desktop you will find a bunch that work great! #
• 23:43 Sucks! I dunno why but I tried to join the gfy forums and my email address has been blocked for some damn reason... WTF?! #
• 00:00 I'm totally turning myself on editing a video of mine for the site! This will be good for tonights members show at 7pm! #
• 00:10 Alright I am saving the movie I just created for the site and jumping in the shower so my ass smells nice for my members show:) #
• 02:01 Jeeze. My lips are like huge now from my members show I just finished. the hitachi kicked my ass! #
• 02:19 My skin is so fracking clear right now. I wonder if it's from taking my Yaz birthcontrol for a full month now? #
• 02:34 I'm gonna have a nice little post orgasm nap with my kitten crawling all over me like ginnie pigs. #
• 02:36 I meant kittens like as in plural. You know I'm a crazy cat lady... #

I'm gonna have a nice little post orgasm nap with my kitten crawling all over me like ginnie pigs.

My skin is so fracking clear right now. I wonder if it's from taking my Yaz birthcontrol for a full month now?

Jeeze. My lips are like huge now from my members show I just finished. the hitachi kicked my ass!

Alright I am saving the movie I just created for the site and jumping in the shower so my ass smells nice for my members show:)

Sucks! I dunno why but I tried to join the gfy forums and my email address has been blocked for some damn reason... WTF?!

Dang! I am eating hardy today! Gotta catch up on all that midwest food I've been missing out on!

I also just got NEW oil paints in the mail from my wishlist. I have like a ton now.

Where the hell are the burlesque costumes that were ordered off of my wishlist! I need them for fucking tomorrow!

Yay! Now I can update my myspace, twitter and facebook all at the same time using ping.fm. How lucky am I? Ok time for more sleep...

Is this on? Just checking...

Microphone check! 1-2, one two!

Are you stalking me?

• 23:31 I'm home now. i spent the night at Steve's last night and somehow managed to not have sex. Lucky me! #
• 23:40 I am eating fish sticks... YES I AM! #
• 00:13 I am so happy to be home with my crazy mammal children. But now I must shoo them from my bedroom so I can masturbate! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:21 I just got new make-up! Yay! #
• 03:25 Is there a free video converter that will convert .flv files to something more usable? I used to have one but forgot what it was. #
• 12:10 Ok, What time is it in Vegas? #
• 17:51 I need to get the fuck up and get my fucking ass to the airport. I am exhausted. #

Are you stalking me?

• 05:11 I am trying very unsuccessfully to remove all of this damn body paint from my upper torso! #
• 05:40 Um I am dressed up really hot so I definitely wanna go somewhere tonight! #
• 05:42 Damnit no one is getting ahold of me about the said parties tonight! #
• 06:00 @eonmckai Grrr! I am all dressed up and can't find the rest of my party. Not having a cell phone sometimes sucks really bad. #
• 10:31 WHHHHY! Do I not live in Australia? I just met the most amazing fucking guy. Life destroys me. #
• 10:39 I am horny!~ #
• 10:44 I want a rich guy to buy me some True religion jeans in the store down atairs. #
• 17:32 I have that horrible recent song by Pink stuck in my head about being a rock star. #
• 17:48 I think my ovary is trying to escape my body on the right side and I am starving. #
• 19:21 And I would like to thank my nivia cellulite cream for making this dream a reality... #
• 00:14 About to go to fashion show mall. I wish I had more money because not only am I hungry again but I know I am gonna want a ton of shit. #
• 00:22 So I might be going to exotica LA working as a promo model again. Oh the good life... #

Are you stalking me?

• 04:05 My skin feels so flipping dry! I even put straight vitamin E oil on it and it still feels super tight! #
• 11:25 Drunk girls in Vegas are really funny. I saw Akon tonight and he sucked. #
• 12:21 I ate too much today. I can tell my skin is really improving now that I am taking better care of it. I look like I am like 14. #
• 12:22 @dtopper22 I wish you were here too! but I seriously have to get up in about 3 1/2 hours to be fucking painted. That sucks. #
• 13:47 This fucking sucks I can't sleep and I am supposed to get fucking body painted in 2 and a half hours. I am pretty sure I am panicing. #
• 13:47 @kellylind I am going to repost this here and on myspace. I may have some friends interested in this. #
• 13:48 musicians who would like to contribute mp3s to godsgirls.com video clips in exchange for promotion and exposure. email: [email protected] #
• 13:51 My adavan is finally calming me down. But this sucks that I am supposed to be up and ready in two hours. I'll just get up in two hours. #
• 15:16 Well I am at least showered now. But I am totally going to try to sneak in some more sleep now. #
• 15:22 And damnit wouldn't you know I have now developed GAS! Internext is hard :( #
• 19:27 I am painted and dressed up like a whore. Also because I ate like an idiot yesterday I am all bloated. #
• 00:18 I finished the convention and got a lot of attention and gave out my card like a super ton. I got a cool robot t-shirt too! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:17 Also I have have one spy cam on in my hotel room you can see in in my spy/ housecamz area of my site! #
• 03:29 And while nothing SEXUAL is happening I am on my new justin.tv channel: www.justin.tv/clubmix666 #
• 04:07 I am about to go eat with the guys that hired me to come out here "pimp mansion". Sushi and damnit there better be hot Sake! #
• 22:21 I think being at this convention will teach me fun and good stuff. But I am already hung over. The other girls doing the promo are being... #
• 22:22 PAID. And I am not because this guy acting as my AGENT is ripping me off and trying to get me to pse for his janky pics. NO. #
• 22:23 Also the other girls aren't even that cute. So basically I am giving out my card to as many people as possible and I want to start... #
• 22:24 ...doing convention work as a supplimental income. I could totally get hired and paid for this. I want to get paid to dress up at... #
• 22:25 COMIC BOOK CONVENTIONS! Whoot! And I miss being at home with my huge dog and sleepy cats! Fuck house keeping... #
• 22:52 OMG. Finally I found my adderal. FINALLY. #
• 00:30 This desert weather is making my skin feel tight. Is that weird? #
• 01:13 What? Right! Ugh! tinyurl.com/6h5d7w #
• 02:13 I should probably stop stuffing my face full of cheese now but I just can't. #

Are you stalking me?

• 10:09 I'm in Vegas but not at the person's house that I thought I would be at. That's actually cool though. #
• 22:53 Ok well... I am should probably be checking into the Palms soon. Calling the guy in charge... #

Are you stalking me?

• 04:11 The fucking strip club that fired me just asked me to be it's friend on myspace. I said yes just to make trashy comments on their page! #
• 04:22 My period is fully on and draining me. It's telling me I need to take a nap now and get up and finish all of my other business later but... #
• 04:23 ...if I fall asleep now I may miss my flight to Vegas tomorrow man. Why is it so hard to be superhuman? #
• 04:25 I need to finish sending in my two hot ass GodsGirls sets before I leave and like wash and cut my hair and then sew in some bangs... #
• 04:26 OH! and empty all the littler boxes and take down all of my cams and computer equipment and hide it from my dog while I am gone. #
• 07:20 I cut and restyled my hair for vegas. I will bust with nerves. I can't even eat. #
• 07:21 Just to let everyone know the spy cams will be going down sadly while I am gone to Internext to prevent the dog from eating them. #
• 07:34 Oh look it's oldschool me! #
• 07:36 tinyurl.com/88v8xp I was a sexy big girl so what! #
• 07:43 I like to dance big... tinyurl.com/7jhpyb #
• 07:55 OMG. I used to be hot. WTF happened? tinyurl.com/9sbgmq #
• 08:10 aND THE PILLS THAT i ATE. came a couple years too late. I am the girl anachronism. #
• 08:12 Also. I do not look good in blue eyeshadow. Just a reminder to the self. #
• 15:32 I will be in Vegas at 9pmish tonight. I am freaking out. I hate traveling. I am cold and nose runny. #
• 15:43 I didn't get done with my GodsGirls stuff it will have to wait until I get back. My face feels like there are a thousand little white men.. #
• 15:44 ...beating on it. #
• 16:21 I am all slick like a seal from my second layer of self tanner. Letting it settle in... #
• 16:33 Foundation primer is drying... #
• 16:40 Oh the amount of work I put into looking like I naturally look this good... Foundation time! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:46 I just made the most solid and healthy poo I have seen in ages. Trixie I blame you for this twit! :) #
• 04:14 @shugahshane Haha no I wasn't. I don't even have a cell phone. I need one. #
• 05:38 Can you use this as a webcam? tinyurl.com/7nxn4n #
• 06:54 I feel dizzy all of a sudden. I am doing tonights members show in 7 minutes! Tune yourself in! #
• 06:56 I feel like the Big Lebowski wearing this robe... #
• 08:16 Damnit, I need to get back to fucking with those photos to have them ready to send into GodsGirls before I leave for Vegas. #
• 08:22 I am watching this annoying movie called Traffic Control: The Peoples War on Internet Porn... While I am editing um, porn. #
• 09:59 @Mizbehaven Fuck! Your new site is flipping awesome! #
• 12:09 Watching the Truman show and writing my website text/info for the new site design and tour. #
• 14:51 This fucking Truman Show is totally freaking me out. #
• 20:14 What the fuck I haven't even been on justin.tv in days and damnit it's suspended again after I JUST printed the urls on my new business card #
• 22:55 I guess since I do porn I shouldn't be allowed to talk about what I do on my public blog, myspace or video broadcasting channel. Assholes. #

Are you stalking me?

• 04:01 Members show on modelsplugin starting now! (I just want you all to know how crazy I am.) #
• 05:16 Doing private cam shows right now if you wanna get in on the action! tinyurl.com/866wyr #
• 06:28 I am feeling very overwhelmed and I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. Just to let your fucking know. #
• 06:59 I need a break. I am having a drink and I took my anxiety meds. I have a crick in my damn back. #
• 08:32 I need to write. But I feel stopped up or something. #
• 08:39 Hahahhahahaha! When I get drunk the cats get a little scared of me. #
• 08:49 One of my favorite bands is this crazy band called Ssion with Freddie Mercury obsessed frontman; Cody Critchello. #
• 00:59 This is my funny friend that I like: www.ustream.tv/channel/325160 #
• 01:00 I am going to make Speghetti Today! #
• 01:05 My dog and cat are investigating this tiny black plastic sack on the floor and I think it's funny. #
• 01:20 I have a guilty pleasure in loving this poem in secret: tinyurl.com/65jwfm #
• 01:45 Tonight I am doing my members show via "cam hotties" at 1am because I am too tired and lazy to do it now and that was the next closest time. #
• 02:44 I am making a mega veggied out pot of speghetti with mega extra yum veggies. OMG LOVE. I am going to eat this while watching tv. Destress #
• 02:46 I almost just burnt down my kitchen... #
• 02:48 @kentuckyprophet Yeah actually I found out about him through Jay, my ex. He went to art school with him in Kansas City. Small world! #
• 02:51 I really want this spy cam poster for my bathroom! www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/KFFVFHVIYSG8 Buy it for meeeeee! #
• 03:05 Did you know that I have NEVER seen the Truman Show? How ironic is that! I need to see it pronto. #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:43 Site show it through camhotties and it's at ten instead of 8! #
• 01:59 Is it offensive to say, "I need more hot friends"? Cause I do. Like YOU! #

Are you stalking me?

• 03:13 I sent my heroes a secret happy new year message:) #
• 03:14 Now I have to get showered and primped for my Camz show that's happening on mah site in LESS than an hour! *rushes!* #
• 05:44 Damnit Mom. You called and it got all fucking late and I have all this fucking shit I want to get done... #
• 06:04 I know it's shallow, but I want to reach 5000 friends on MyShits so add me and tell your friends to do the same! www.myspace.com/clubmix1996 #
• 06:05 Damnit my energy is fading fast. Must. Get. Shit. Done. #
• 06:07 AND I AM... doing yoga tonight. Even it's a pityful one time run though of each of the poses. #
• 06:58 I fucking hate internet troll asshat fucks. Period. #
• 07:47 Alright I guess no fucking yoga tonight but I am gonna Chi it up before bed and set the alarm to start off at a more decent time tomorrow! #
• 15:08 I woke up early for no reason again today. I am going to go back to bed but I have my alarm set for noon. I'm kindof hungry, But I wait! #
• 16:14 Can't sleep so getting up. Kinkos called and cards are done. See the final design I went with here: clubmix1996.livejournal.com #
• 16:18 @alexanderbourke Thx dude but I already have the design and stuff for now. Next time I redesign them I will look you up! #
• 16:24 Let the power of Christ compell you to... DANCE! tinyurl.com/88rmmp #
• 17:14 My internet has been fucking up lately. They want to send someone out but I don't want to deal with it since I steal cable and all... #
• 17:46 Shit! I got SOMETHING done! OMG! Time to reward myself with some good eats and my morning meds. Whoo fucking hoo to me!!! #
• 17:53 What vid hosting site can I post a vid containing a porn url that allows the vid to be embedded say like on my blog? Livevideo sucks now:( #
• 20:43 Some things never cease to confuse me about the internet and it's people. Me being one of those said people. #
• 21:52 I did a *little* yoga. very little. No way I am doing the floor poses until I can vacuum and shampoo that damn floor. #
• 21:56 I'm just gonna lay down to recollect myself. Then I start cleaning the floor THEN back to computer/site catch-up crap. #
• 22:26 Well no collecting for me. And no Girls of the Internet Party for me either :( Fucken A. Oh well I'll be at the Palms party instead. #
• 23:37 4:52 PM Scarlettdaclown: i am so grown up 4:53 PM Scarlettdaclown: bitch you know what i am speaking! #